Saturday Night, Saturday Night

So it’s a Saturday and you’re already done studying. Or at least done attempting to study. The rain is subsiding and the weather is clearing up. It’s already evening but you have time to burn. So what do you do? Do you head to town and find somewhere to chill? Do you look up the movie timings and plan to watch American Gangster? Or do you go home because you’re a loser with no satay hence you have no plans? NO. I say NO NO NO. So what exactly do you do? You squeeze into your friend’s room, lay down the board and then you play this.






MONOPOLY. Not just any Monopoly. But the Singapore edition, sial.

If you have never played Monopoly before, then I probably don’t know where you’ve been. Probably at Ngee Ann Poly, probably at Nanyang. So before you embark on your virgin roll of the dice in Monopoly, jangan kanchong, mai tension, here are 5 tips that will help you monopolise Singapore in no time.

Tip #1 : Do not own Geylang Road and Serangoon Road.

Do not be tempted by the cheap prices. There’s already more than enough temptations in Geylang so do not fall for this one. Unless you’re planning to set up a hotel, then these areas should be your last choice. Even then, it’s only hotel 81 (Baik Suff ada membership) and the payouts are so low it’s worth trying to steal some money from the bank when your friends are not looking.

Tip #2 : This is not Prison Break.

Jangan nak step Micheal Scofield. There is no Sucre, there is no T Bag, there is no C Note. You only have Dollar Notes. This is a game. You go to jail, you stay in there and you wait for your turn. But surprisingly, Changi Prison allows you to escape if you pay $500. So pay the money, get out of the bars and enjoy a hearty Nasi Lemak meal at Changi Village for breakfast.

Tip # 3 : If you drink, don’t drive. Go public.

Since I don’t drink and I can’t drive, I don’t have much of a choice do I ? But even in the game, this applies. Probably the best investment is to own all the 4 Mrt Stations, but it requires a huge slice of luck. Once you have the entire SMRT in your hands, then you play the waiting game. Anyone (excluding you) that steps into any of the stations will have to pay a handsome fine of $2000. EZ Link and Concession Pass do not apply.

Tip # 4 : Tip off your friend for $10.

A good way to earn some extra loose change is to tip off your friends. Besides waiting for your friends to land into your property, you can also earn a good brokerage fee by staying alert. Sometimes, your friends may not realize that someone has landed into his/her property and that someone has to pay a fine. So to prevent that other cheeky friend of yours from escaping a fine, you swoop in, tip off your friend and demand a cool $10 for doing so.

Tip # 5 : Be a businessman

Monopoly is after all a game about business. Make your own deals, negotiate, connive, bribe. Do everything in your power to make sure you’re ahead of the game. If you’re in control, take advantage of the situation. Look around you for opportunities, especially when your friend is on the verge of bankrupt. And if you’re on the verge of bankrupt, well then that’s just too bad. You can try printing your own money.

At the end of the game, remember. It is just a game. If you win, don’t boast. You may have owned all the roads along Orchard before but at the end of it, you still owe that same friend who wrongly invested in Geylang Road many many 55 cents in cold hard cash.