Gather ye rose buds while ye may

Whats the point of living life if you hold back? Why bother thinking too much about the future, worried about your actions and letting the present go past you? Lately, I've been guilty of that. I've been so preoccupied with what might be that I have been an abject figure of myself.

I've never been someone who lived life with reckless abandonment. The only thing which has ever all consumed me, made me feel anger, joy and despondency to extremes has been fencing. I would be all quiet before a game but when I'm on the piste, I would be the loudest one in the hall. I so miss that.

Now, I feel that I've mellowed down. Its not so much as who I am as a person, but my actions, being constricted. But lately, I've felt more alive, more adventurous. And right now, at this point in time, I feel like the shackles and bolts have finally been removed. It feels quite liberating.

"As soon as you're born you start dying. So you might as well have a good time." I think i better. The way I've been crossing roads lately, its just a matter of time before I get hit by a car.