A Group Of Solos

Would you rather be in a successful band, but share creative control, or go solo and write your own songs, but shoulder full responsibilities for your image and your sound? I know this is a situation we won't face anytime in the near future, except maybe Nazir, who is arguably the best vocalist I have ever met. But just for the fun of it, and for my own analysis, let's look at a few people who have left their bands (some temporarily, others permanently) to start their own solo careers. Is it a good career move? Or is it a big commercial, musical mistake?

With that in mind, we won't look at Robbie Williams, of course, because whoever leaves Take That is making the smartest career choice of their lives.

First up, Richard Ashcroft. Richard Ashcroft was the subtlest of frontmen, as far as swaggering Britpop frontmen go. With The Verve, he brought life to their music videos with his style and general coolness, without Liam Gallagher's mouth or Jarvis Cocker's Jesus-esque impressions. Look at the video for Bittersweet Symphony, for example. In this, Richard is truly the face of the band. The rest can be the buttocks of the band for all I care, because they only appear at the end of the video.

But Richard is so fucking cool in this video.



Now look at him in his video, C'mon People.



He's still just as cool, and the song retains the hopeful nuances of the Verve message. Only thing this time, he doesn't have to share his earnings with 4 other random band members.

Next up, Brendan Benson. With The Raconteurs, Brendan Benson is shunned away from the limelight due to the indie colossus that is Jack White. People watching their videos in passing would notice more of Jack White, rather than Brendan (just a note in case you don't know; Jack White is the lead singer of The White Stripes) and assume that he is the heartbeat of the band. Fans of the band and their music, however, would know that Brendan and Jack share an almost McCartney-Lennon partnership in songwriting and production. Look at their video, Steady As She Goes and you'll see what I mean by Jack taking all the attention.



Now look when all the attention is focussed on Brendan.



Brendan can't pull off the frontman image la. Jack, of course, can, but Brendan looks like an uncle. I enjoyed the cartoons more than looking at him. Nice song, though, nevertheless.

Finally, we will look at James Dean Bradfield. He is the lead singer of Manic Street Preachers (yes people, the same band that sang If You Tolerate This, Your Children Will Be Next). He may look like the average uncle, but he is still quite a charismatic frontman of an uncle, as you will see in the video, You Stole The Sun From My Heart, by Manic Street Preachers.

MANICS - YOU STOLE THE SUN FROM MY HEART
Uploaded by misslupin

Okay now look at him solo. He's a bit cooler now because he doesn't have to appear with the band, so he can plan the props and characters of his own music video. In all this though, he still rocks like he's still with the preachers. His first single, That's No Way To Tell A Lie is testament to this.

.

So bottom line, Nazir, I say go solo.

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend

If you want to know how a double deckered bus ends up in a dessert, how an innocent pick-up truck driver finds himself in the middle of a military front in Chechnya and how to get a girl in bed after 8 years, then Jumper is the show for you.

If not, it was probably a good time to have your name on The Buih List. Right Wan, Suff and Jon?

Hisap la Jon you are not even reading this

Chill out

I know its recess week or whatever but lets chill this week. Its been a long time since we've watched a movie together, what with our outings with satays and all. Nas is so sick of going out whi his satay that he is sick. Literally. Thats how bad it is.

So guys, the plan is to watch 2 movies this Thursday. Since the letter of the week on Sesame Street is J, lets watch Jumper and Juno. Those interested please message me or leave a Kisurat on the Shout Box.

Venue: Anywhere west side
Time: Around 4

Those who have indicated that they are going so far:

Nas
Mus
Zal
Hassan (Budak JJ)
Syed( Matrep)
Jon

Thats all for now.

Not so proud now

It's already 2 days into my recess week and I haven't really done any work ah. Firstly I had flu yesterday. Just when I thought things were getting better at night, I had stomachache at 1+ am. At first I thought maybe it's just a stomach upset but when I'd to go to the toilet another time, I knew smth was wrong. Then comes the vomiting. Up to a point where there's nth to vomit except what seems like stomach fluid. I kept vomiting til 6, wow, the feeling is damn nice. So I went to the 24hrs clinic at about 6+, the doctor said it's stomach flu. It's really no joke ah this thing. The effect of the medicines really kicked in well ah – now I know how it's like being high. Kisurat.

Pride of Merseyside

Liverpool 2 Inter Milan 0

I've to say I'm ecstatic that Liverpool managed to clinch a clean-sheet home win over Inter. It's really not everyday, or every week, that I can say I'm thrilled by The Reds' performance. Especially after the recent fantastic loss to, whatsitsname?, Barnsley. This time, also thanks to the referee for sending off Materazzi so early in the game, the players did themselves justice. This is my rating for the players today, (out of 10).

Reina – 9 : He didn't have much to do anyway. Even so, a clean sheet is perfectly ok. At least Inter has no away goals to bring back to San Siro.

Hyypia – 8 : Other than that slight miscommunication with Reina, he was awesome. His experience really showed.

Carragher – 9 : I won't give him 10 coz he's boring. Always clearing at the slightest pressure, zzz. Nevertheless, he's always there.

Finnan – 7: Attacked down the flank, sent in crosses here and there. The crosses were quite off a few times though.

Aurelio – 6: He crossed way too early EVERYtime. His free kicks were disappointing.

Mascherano – 10: His passing is improving exponentially ah, as fast as my reactivity to Hellos. Basically impenetrable. Nothing much. Just did a few critical tackles and interceptions only. Ibrahimovic was so happy he didn't have to do anything.

Lucas – 10: He didn't play the full game but what the hell. Calm, composed, nonchalant, unperturbable and whatever there is. FUCKING COOL.

Babel – 7: Gotta brush up on some of his tricks, they can't work everytime. Quite hesitant to run into players.

Gerrard – 10: Typical goal, long shot. Standard ah. The goal had his signature printed all over it. He managed to squeeze the ball towards the bottom left corner of the goalpost, coming off the inside of the post. Exquisite.

Torres – 8: He was the reason Materazzi got sent off, though I think it's a bit harsh. He was almost everywhere. His pace is besok. He should've scored, I don't know why he chose to place bottom left. Should've just roofed the ball into the net.

Kuyt – 2 : Definitely not his usual self ah. Didn't perform up to expectations. I can only remember a nice turn and the goal. The goal also deflected off a defender. Usually, he does nothing. If he played as usual, I'd sincerely give 15.

Crouch – 8: Came in for Lucas. He gave a different attacking dimension. Had more shots than Kuyt if I'm not wrong.

Pennant – 8: Replaced Babel. Babel should learn how to penetrate like him. Gave some pinpoint crosses. Assisted Gerrard too.

My MOTM definitely goes to Mascherano, unquestionably and incontestably. Consperm.
I'm just hoping Pool is able to replicate last night's performance at San Siro, or for any other league matches ah why not. You'll Never Walk Alone!

Tu Lis

Ok, it's been quite some time since my last entry. The previous 17 entries had all been Nazir's, I wonder where he found the time. Brilliant planner he is, I've to admit..

I won't be surprised if the next few entries will all be containing stuff like "1) [this guy] can't do jack shit, even Jack can't shit." or "10) Noone can take anything away from [this guy]. Noone, coz he got nothing." Guys, this frenzy is gonna evolve into a phenomenon that even Chuck Norris can't fathom ah, simply put - nonsense at it's highest level. And that, I assure you, if it's examinable, the subject that Suff will be barred from coz there's no way you can put infinity to his score, not even Chuck Norris.

Tit for Tat

I told you not to do it ,Suff.I warned you before. It is only appropriate that I return the favour. It is time to spill the beans on you.

1. There is no light at the end of Suff’s tunnel because he cannot afford it.

2. To us, the sky’s the limit. To Suff, it is what he sees when he looks up.

3. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in Suff’s hands mean he’s wanking.

4. A penny saved is a penny earned. My penny saved is Suff’s bus fare.

5. Suff doesn’t beat around the bush. He beats his own bush.

6. Suff burns the midnight oil and causes his house to be on fire.

7. Suff is not able to turn over a new leaf because there’s only one side to it.

8. When Suff is actually biting more than he can chew, it’s because he’s freeloading from my plate.

9. Curiosity killed Suff before the cat.

10. The phrase “ignorance is bliss” first evolved when I ignored Suff.

11. Suff can’t tell time because he lost his watch.

12. Suff thought that the SATS was a misspelling for STATS. Either way, he failed.

13. If you pay peanuts you get monkeys. If you fail to pay, you get Suff.

14. Suff thought that M T V was what came after the letter L.

15. Even Fuzzy Wuzzy does not like SuFF.

16. If you put Suff in an empty swimming pool, he will drown.

17. Actions speak louder than words only because I prefer Suff to shut up.

18. Suff begs for money in Budget Terminal.

19. Suff can lose $10 out of the $5 he has.

20. When you pay an additional 50 cents in McDonalds, you are paying for an upsize. When Suff pays 50 cents, he is actually paying his debts.

21. Even when Suff was the last man standing in Survivor, Jeff Probst won.

22. Adrian Pang hosted a special game show just for Suff. It was called No Deal and Pay Up.

23. Suff played Tic Tac Toe alone and lost.

24. The moment Suff stepped onto the tennis court, it was a double fault.

Screw Eric Djemba-Djemba! We Have Aizat

I'm sure you've all heard of the recent internet craze about Chuck Norris. Apparently, he's capable of some amazing feats (see http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com). However, have you heard of the complete anti-Chuck Norris? He is probably the lousiest individual human being ever. Let me show you what Aizat can do....

1. Aizat is so loser that he goes to Hotel 81 to wank.

2. Only two people have counted to infinity: Chuck Norris and Nasruddin. Aizat can't count to two.

3. What has two legs and goes black, white, black, white? Aizat trying to paint a rainbow.

4. Aizat is so stupid he doesn't know how to get out of a room with its door open.

5. There's no chin behind Aizat's beard. There's no brain within that vicinity, either.

6. Aizat (21 years old) is so loser, he's the apprentice to the waterboy's apprentice in the under-8 girls' soccer team.

7. There was once this pill that dramatically reduces a person's intelligence. When Einstein took it, he became the world's dumbest man. When he took it again, he became Aizat.

8. When Aizat was asked, "What is one plus one?", his brain was overtaxed and underwent a meltdown.

9. Wise man say only Aizats rush in.

10. Courage The Cowardly Dog has a similarly-oxymoronically-named brother, called Aizat The Intelligent Dog.

11. If you fail an exam by 49 percent, and then you accidentally set fire to your own hair, you are doing an Aizat.

12. If you are in front of the door to your own home, and you turn around; and then when you turn around again, you find yourself not knowing where you are even though nothing has changed, you are also doing an Aizat.

13. The person who said, "I think, therefore I am" didn't finish his sentence. What he said was, "I think, therefore I am capable of doing something Aizat can't."

14. Aizat is so perverted that he changed 'I came. I saw. I conquered' to 'I saw an exhaust pipe. I conquered the scooter. I came.'

15. At first there was Aizat. Then God decided to give Aizat a brain. And voila! Monkeys were created.

16. This number right here is Aizat's IQ after eating gingko biloba.

He ain't Nas, he's NASRUDDIN!!

NASRUDDIN chucks Norris aside. Period.

Screw Chuck Norris! We Have Nasruddin

I'm sure you've all heard of the recent internet craze about Chuck Norris. Apparently, he's capable of some amazing feats (see http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com). However, this does not faze me, as I know of somebody far more spectacular in ability. Let me tell you about what Nasruddin can do...

1. Nasruddin's penis is so large, when he gets an erection, he can fuck somebody in Russia.

2. Nasuruddin didn't apply for NTU. NTU applied for Nasruddin.

3. Nasruddin is so good at soccer he misses shots just for the fun of it.

4. Nasruddin counted to infinity. Pi times.

5. Nasruddin is so famous, Famous Amos eats his cookies.

6. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he becomes The Hulk. When The Hulk gets mad, he becomes Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad......

7. Superman can die from kryptonite. Kryptonite can die from Nasruddin.

8. Clark Kent's secret identity is Superman. Superman's secret identity is Nasruddin.

9. In DOTA, if you kill 9 people in a row, you're BEYOND GODLIKE! If you kill 17 people in a row, you're NASRUDDIN!

10. If you have a million dollars, and Nasruddin has 55 cents, Nasruddin has more money than you.

11. Nasruddin can set fire to magnifying glasses with an ant. At night. In water.

12. Nasruddin is so big, that one divided by Nasruddin is zero.

13. People can't count to infinity, but infinity can't count to Nasruddin.

14. It's hard enough to escape the pull of gravity, but gravity can't escape the pull of Nasruddin.

15. There's milo ice. Then there's milo dinosaur. Then there's milo godzilla. After that will be... milo Nasruddin.

16. Nasruddin doesn't have another fist behind his beard because a) he doesn't have a beard and b) that is just weird.

17. They couldn't find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq because Nasruddin wasn't in Iraq.

5 Places In Singapore To Not Have Sex In

We at TOWNS are definitely gonna get laid during V-Day today. It's in our nature. You may think we're players, but we just get so damn much female attention we can't help it. So here's an entry for my fellows here.

Let's face it, public sex is a very exciting affair. The whole thrill of possibly getting caught, of doing something so unconventional and in the opposite stream of our Singaporean, Asian values makes it infinitely more exciting than Newater. If you disagree, then, well, you talk to your parents too much.

However, there are places, publicly exciting or not, which I do not recommend having public sex in. And they are...

Parliament House



Whoever it was who outlawed oral sex will probably be in there somewhere. I think he and his associates seeing you go at it will upset them very much. It probably won't upset the guards and the police, but they have to follow orders.

In The Middle Of The PIE



A van hitting you and your lover at full speed mid-coitus is not exactly sexy.

Neighbourhood Police Post



If there's a mat manning the police post that day, count yourself lucky. Or unlucky if he wants to join in. If not, then be prepared to land your ass in jail.

NTUC, Fresh Foods section



Let's not leave your fluids on stuff people are gonna feed their families with shall we. Plus, the air-con in NTUC tends to be very cold. Not good to bare too much flesh in here.

G-Max Reverse Bungy



Defying the laws of Physics and Singapore might seem so very tempting to you. And hey you have a good excuse to scream and groan. BUT I must tell you that you can't defy the laws of biology and you will PUKE if you attempt to somehow fuck in that ball. Not sexy.

Thursday

So that dreaded day is coming. 14th February. Or what lovers worldwide call in unison, Valentine’s Day. Here at TOWNS, we like to call it Thursday. Not because we suck, but only because it sounds better. So Cupid has very much been shooting blanks and you still find yourselves adhering to the name of the blog. You look around you and all you find is a bunch of pathetic guys with similar fate coming together and trying to make sense out of this day. So just remember that while you may be alone, here at TOWNS, you are never alone. While you may seek comfort in that, it’s still not a reason to try to step cool and denounce the importance of this day. Just face it. It is in fact a significant day that we all want to be part of. So stop whining and quit trying to fix yourselves up with random dates. Instead, suck it up, embrace your status and in the meantime, come up with some worthy excuses.

1) Total Defence Day Minus One

Has anyone not learnt anything from our history textbooks anymore? 15 Feb 1942. On this day in 1942, Singapore fell to the Japanese. Korang tak ingat ke? Where is your sense of patriotism? Manakah naluri naluri patriotisma anda? Being a Singaporean, it is only mandatory that I respect the significance of this day. Therefore, it is only apt I take the day before (which just happens to coincide with V-Day) to prepare myself mentally in commemorating this date and re-evaluating the key lessons learnt about defence. So it’s not that I do not want to celebrate Valentine’s, it’s just that I have my priorities right.

2) My very important cousin’s Birthday

It just so happens that Fahmy’s birthday fall on 15th February and it has been a well known and well-practiced family tradition that a day before a birthday, the immediate cousins of the birthday boys are required to stay at home and reflect upon the meaningful and beautiful relationship that we possess. So since I’m not the type who goes against family practices, that does not leave me with much choice does it?

3) Malam Jumaat!

Mak kan selalu pesan. Malam Jumaat jangan keluar. It’s Thursday night and it’s Taboo night. Much stories have been told about supernatural happenings on Thursday nights and you sure would not want to add to the collections. So before any of your money turns into hell notes and before the red roses turn into dried leaves, save yourself from turning pale and all other possible horrors. Be a Mommy’s boy and stay at home.

I believe in country. I believe in family. I believe in my mum. But I also believe I just made up a whole lot of shit to cover myself up.

Twice in a week

Today is again another timely reminder.

A reminder of what I already have.
My family. My blood brothers. My blood sisters. My friends.

Here's to more piggyback rides, girlfriend-for-a-day, beach sports and genuine family bonding.

Thank you God.

Chasing Pavements

Kanye West said in his blog, "This shit is dope!" about this video by British soul artist Adele. I'm not gonna compare it to human excretion and call it a drug, but I must say that this song is majestic and moving.

Chasing Pavements by Adele

Yellow Orange Red

Throw away the ketupats and bring on the oranges! Ditch your samping and put on a cheongsam! Off with the green packets and on with the Hongbaos! The time has come for our yellow friends to paint the town red. Shops are closed and malls seem vacant. It’s Chinese New Year and you know it. Take this chance to park on the side of the road. Our fellow double yellow lines are taking a break! And what better way to usher in this New Year for them than to pay a glowing tribute to my favourite Chinese friends.

- Jonathan Tan Zhi Xiang
Also known as Jon or more recently, Jantan. This Jantan certainly looks like one. If not for his sickly defined bulging calves, I probably wouldn’t have given him a second look. I knew him through tennis and he was my constant sparring partner until the day he decided to join NTU and have no life. Jon will always be remembered as the person who failed to differentiate a pig from a dog. Luckily for him, it’s the year of the Rat. All in all though, he has been literally, a solid friend.

- Darryl Lee (Man Hon ??)
This Aussie mate of mine used to be on the covers of Mary France Bodyline until Andrea Forseka decided to lose some fats as well. Well, he’s certainly no Fatty now. While he may have changed dramatically in size, he certainly has not changed as a person and he remains to be one of those friends you know you can really depend on. One of few Chinese friends who managed to pull off the long-hair look. And probably the only one whose hair is wavier than mine.

- Raphael Hong Song Yao
Being brothers to Leonardo Ong and Donatello Lee certainly did not faze him one bit. Raphael is a feisty character or at least he used to be. He’s certainly passionate to the people who matters most to him and for that very reason, he makes a great buddy. He decided to sit between me and Suff during class for 2 years and he has paid the price for it. He had proudly been part of our less sane moments.

- Jamie Pang Er Fong
Jamie looks like a goody two shoes and he most definitely is one. He’s generally nice but even nicer to those close to him. Sometimes the words that comes out of his mouth baffles me. Little shit words like Meow meow boo boo shoo. But then again, I baffle myself too. It’s probably an effect of having me and Suff as classmates but sometimes I think it’s just him.

- Caleb Cheow ($%&* #@!)
This guy calls me a deuschbag and in return, I call him a waterbag. That probably sums up our relationship. It’s been one of calling each other ridiculous names and making a joke out of each other. He was my PW group mate and let’s just say that it worked in my favour. His fashion sense of wearing tapered pants and buttoning up shirts suggest that he’s turning Malay. His unfortunately-sounding surname has resulted in people calling him with Hokkien profanities and to save him from that misfortune, he has been given an affectionate nickname of Kamal.

To all my Chinese friends, enjoy yourselves these next few days. Thanks for giving us such a long holiday. More importantly, keep the pork to yourself. Have a Bak Kwa of a time.

Sean Paul Eat My Shorts: No Satay

As a budding songwriter, I realise the need for me to explore songwriting in many different genres. Today, I will tackle raggaeton with my own raggaeton smash hit, No Satay.

Oh maaaan. She babala maksimoom teets maaan!
Oh yaaa!
Weed I smoke like tertey yooooo!!
Make cake like jigiboom yooooo!!
Jamaica mutherland yooooo!!
She gonna do it ya jigiboom!!

(Chorus)
No satay oh riya shalom shalom
No satay oh move ya body
Killi ton ya!!!!
No satay hiya momo shan!!

Me make milk fo sho
Cow drink milk no no
Yo mama so fat she like jamaica
Oasis yall sang shaka-maka

(Chorus)
No satay oh riya shalom shalom
No satay oh move ya body
Killi ton ya!!!!
No satay hiya momo shan!!

Hooya! No satay
Get jiggy with me and me satays at jamaica yo!

Finally Faliq Blogs

The post that everyone of u are waiting for is finally up.. Faliq's maiden entry in Aizat's very own blog... oh wait it is suppose to be the sji mats + wan & faliq blog....

Let us all start with the IVP experience that i had in January.. thanks to the guys, Aizat,Suff,Zal and Nas for coming down to watch me start my first game for NUS... It was definitely a match to remember as i am pretty sure that was the first time that i had so much emotions bottled up in me after the game.. its definitely hard being the keeper in any kind of sports and the burden on my shoulders then were definitely tremendous(Baik Wan)... We started out the IVP as favourites for the crown but in the end we ended up in the 3rd/4th placings and fighting to at least get a medal to show for our efforts... But the rest of the story you guys know... i just have to say that this was the first ever time that i played at such a big stage and the bonds that i have with the NUS guys just want to spur you to do your best for each and everyone of them... i cried that day because i believe that i was the one responsible for them losing the game in the end... i dislocated my shoulder but still continue playing in between the posts and few minutes after i pop it back in, my hands were shivering and i fumbled a ball into the back of the net... the goal made it 3-1 and to me it dampen the momentum that our team was gaining.... that was the moment that will forever be etched in my memory... you can just see that everyone was devastated when the final whistle was blown.. our opponent was a team that we thrashed 8-1 in a friendly one month before and know here they are returning the favour back to us by a margin of 7-2...

Now on to TLFC news.... Here is a recent article posted by our very own TL Daily by their Pukitzer prize reporter KisuratRasmi ...

"Aizat Amali A Jinx????"
By: KisuratRasmi Bin Badigol

Following TLFC recent game at Tanjong Katong Sec where they convincingly thrash Dunman All Stars 4-0 with a fantastic display of soccer, rumours are rife that Aizat and Azhari cannot play together and one of them indeed must go. In a game where TLFC wrapped up the game with an exquisitive display of soccer in the first half, one wonders whether Aizat is indeed a jinx whenever he plays together with Azhari. We manage to track down ousted manager, Nazir Capello (who was still in his pyjamas, holding a bottle of dettol and his towel getting rdy to bath, when we knocked on his door, ) and ask for his views. Nazir mentioned that before he was ousted as a manager in a player revolution, he had engaged a private investigator to collate evidence on the Aizat-Azhari link as he had suspicions of it. The private investigator that goes by the moniker of niddursan was a former Soviet spy and had just passed Nazir his report. Ladies and gentleman we are proud to say that we are telling you first what is contained within the report and you can come up with your own conclusion with the information that we are about to reveal to you.

It was stated in the report that Aizat is in fact the jinx in the team whenever Azhari come down to play with us.. the first evidence that we manage to link to Aizat was the Tusser Snr game at turf city.... Aizat and azhari played but we lost.. we then link it to Aizat and azhari also playing the first kawabanga game and yet again we lost... then Aizat played without azhari and we won some and lost some... but the interesting here is when Azhari played without Aizat we won a game... thats it ladies and gentleman... is this the end of Aizat's career in AFL? (as he has a clause in his contract that only allows him to play for TLFC in the AFL league) Even the new manager Mus Van Haasjne has no comment when we queried him about this... whatever it is i am pretty sure you will find out what happen to him in our next edition of TL Daily. Till then Adios Amigos...

Aphelion

Well, considering that I met a bunch of wonderful people, made new friends and slept with/beside a girl, then it was definitely a good reason to miss my first AFL match.