Happy Birthday Zat. May you get a satay next year!

Zat's 8 Highlights of 08!

As another year is about to draw to a close, it is probably about time to take a trip down memory lane. With all the happenings and what nots(and us being happening people), I'll hence take the arduous task of picking the moments that has defined my year. So in no particular order, these are my 8 Highlights of 08!

Mercun, but not really
The year kicked off to a good start with me securing a part time tutor job at Mercu Woodlands. While all that I was looking for was a steady flow of income, the emotional attachment that I developed with the students came as a pleasant surprise. Good money but even greater satisfaction.

Kilo Lima

And of course who can forget Kita Lepak di Kuala Lumpur 08. Hotel settle, Yellowline, authentic Ramly burger, virgin trip to the Zoo, Nas taking out his switchblade.... it all happened here in KL. Actually not really, but the company was first class. Amasham aku members.

Game Set Match

Joining the SIM tennis team has to be the single reason for upping my school life one notch. I always wanted to be part of competitive tennis again and playing in Sunig this year has fulfilled that dream. Plus, it's always nice making new friends that share a similar interest uhuh uhuh.

4 eyed no more
I would have to rank this as one of my biggest accomplishments in my life. The idea of putting plastic in my eyes has never appealed to me especially with all the nasty stories that I've heard. I'm glad I did it nevertheless. Looking at hellos never felt better.

Shut up i can drive
Well it had to come and thankfully for me, it did sooner than later. In all honesty, I never expected myself to pass on the first attempt but I'm not complaining. More importantly, it dispels the long-standing myth that SJIM cannot drive. This has further led to the drivers-only faction within the group called the 16 Intervention. Baik Nas.

Man, U are good

Winning the Premier League last year was great, but to successfully defend the title again this year was unbelievable. Adding to that is the small matter of winning the Champions League in a pulsating penalty shootout. Ooooooooo the euphoria.

Run baby run

I don't know what but there's just something about completing a marathon. It's starting to feel like I have an obligation to run each year because as painful as it is, the feeling is addictive. Coupled with the fact that I bettered my time this year, it really makes me wonder how much faster I can go if I do train.

Gym kapa?
Ok this is still an ongoing thing but I really like this gym regime Nas and I have started. It's healthy, productive and it makes me feel good everytime. Not that I am obsessed with achieving the perfect body, but it is certainly harmless in trying to get into a better shape. The difference, only our satays can tell.

Guess Who

We are nearing the end of the year and as I reminisce about the good times we had, what with the KL trip, our regular soccer sessions and Dramatic Decemeber 08! activities, I can't help but recall the many merepek things you guys have said.

So I've decided to list down what I think are the lines which have been said in 2008, lines when mentioned, your face is the first one that comes into mind. I sure it might be very hard for you to identify the person, but just in case you really don't know who, I've added hints.

So, Guess Who!

"Kau rang aku kuat suspek".
Hint: He always steps busy and sleeps early. Also likes to hang out at Marina Square, IMM and Velocity.

"Eh gang, I need to find a money changer ah"
Hint: Nobody understands what he says half the time. The other half, nobody listens to what he says. A very fast person.

"Bowling ke per"
Hint: He thinks he is a good striker when he definitely is not. Luckily he is a fantastic goalkeeper. Does not really like going to Mustafa nowadays.

"Nak aku go ke per? Nak tak? Nak tak? Nak tak? Ah dah lambat."
Hint: He is a 2nd lieutenant in the Commandos unit, went to KL to buy garam and was a prominet figure in the NDP.

"Tahu takpe, tempeh taknak, kuah lebih, nasi tambah"
Hint: A playa who likes to step he plays volleyball. Avid Dota player. I love being in his car.

"Kisurat. Ok ah"
Hint: He recently bought 9 pieces of undergarments, completed a marathon and is on the verge of getting a tennis satay. Another big Dota fan.

"Maner hello? Tello nak hidup!"
Hint: He recently started training for a marathon and bought a head dress to cover his Ronaldo like hair. Not on a verge of getting any kind of satay.

"Isap bodoh"
Hint: He thinks he looks cool with his cap. A damn irritating street soccer striker.

If Michael Jackson was Indian

Like Nas said, MJ is like one of the coolest dancers ever to walk this moon. They say that its a real compliment to have somoene to do an impression of you, and I'm sure you can find hundreds of vids of people trying to dance like MJ. So instead of showing you a 'normal' MJ kinda vid, I posted one with a slight difference. Watch and see for yourself. Enjoy!

HIStory - Past, Present & Future

Since Mus have requested to have a Michael Jackson playlist, I'm gonna post a short writeup or preview or whateva u call it ah, on the abovementioned name. Frankly, I dun give a flying rat's ass bout his gay-paedophilic issues, even if they really exist, god knows. I don't get why they can't just cut him some slack. Probably the people are just not happy that he turned himself white. Some say he had to turn white coz of some skin disease, some say for other reasons, I've no idea la. Ironically, one of his hits has "it doesn't matter if you're black or white". Probably this is like Suff's swearing off nightlife. Surely, one thing that you can't take away from him (MJ, not Suff), is his dancing skills. Probably not as smooth as Mus's or as zapin as mine, but when he hits the stage, I swear girls faint. There were 2 concerts that I've ever went to - Search and Michael Jackson. I can't really remember both coz I was still damn small, not that I'm any much bigger now. However, now with youtube, you can just see how fucking awesome he can dance ah. Here are 2 of his dancing clips which I think are damn baik gils. Enjoy guys! I'm gonna go walk on the moon.

the ball is still rolling

On a side note, HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TOWNS

It has been officially a year since the first entry was written and the mere fact that this blog is still in existence is an achievement on its own. It is safe to say we have surprised ourselves.

Here is to more entries and at least one satay ahead!

New driver in town

Amasham guys, now TOWNS has another driver. I know some of you will be shocked, coz not everyone knew that I was taking driving lessons. And guess what la, I got the route with the post office, the one with the slopes all, thx man. When in the circuit, my left leg was already quite shaky during the parking all, I decided to just use my ankle. But overall, the tester said "not bad", so ok la. So, who's free to follow me down to Redhill on Friday? Mahu beli kereta ke pe.

drama at Ubin

the ones with no satays

Aidil, 6 year old hardcore fan

Although Singapore lost, my spirits were lifted by a certain fan. Even as the game was winding down, he spurred the Singapore fans on, his crazed spirit and obscure rants making us forget about the match for a moment, scratching our heads at what he just said. His name, Aidil, a 6 year old hardcore Singapore fan.


These are the top 3 lines which inspired, or rather confused, me and the people around me the most for the night:

3) "If Singapore doesn't lose, then Vietnam will win"

2) I'd rather go to Johor then watch this......."

1) "Referee please give Singapore a chance. Extra time 2000 minutes!"

He said some other stuff which for political reasons and for my safety, I shan't post on TOWNS. If you want to know more, you can ask Abang Cool Aizat, Abang Gangster Purple Nas, Abang Mabuk Mus or his real abang, Abang Gila Suff.

A summary of the night.

Today, after a long while, I finally got a satay.

Actually I had twelve satays.

But in the end I have none.

Life, is like going to Lau Pa Sat.

You travel far to find satays, get satays, but in the end, you'll end up with your friends.

Sometimes it'll mean being a little keam chong when things don't go your way.

A little bit of jao ji bai goes a long way, but when it ends up in a bo bian situation, you'll have to do the things you don't like; thankfully with your friends.

Because the most important thing, is not being alone with a transsexual.

Can you imagine being chased? Or being cornered?

Ask Nazir, he can tell you all the way from Orchard to Yishun.

In detail.

Life is like going to Lau Pa Sat.

You can have all the satays you want.

Have them with a dash of friends.

Or the tranny might get to you.

Go shawty, it's your birthday

Dear Nas,

Since a picture of you only speaks 17 words, I’ll have to type out the rest. On this special day, I wish you a very Happy 22nd Birthday. Just remember that this number doesn’t count for much, Suff is actually 2.2 this year. I wish for you a number of things . I wish you get your desired body, together with your reliable gym partner. I wish you find the strength to start doing the things that you say, i.e. spitting, running a marathon. Lastly, I wish you find a satay but more importantly, I wish that satay finds me(no la, no more tokens right). But seriouslyyyy, I wish you all the best in whatever you do.

Brotherly love always,
Abang Handsome

Beanie Man

I wish I had a better picture of him but this is as good as it gets. Haha. Happy Birthday Nas!

How to run a marathon (or not)

If you are like me and have nothing better to do than to wake up at an unearthly hour to run the longest race in your life, then here are some tips and pointers that can do you good.

Point #1 : Train, like duh.

And I don’t mean the transport. Don’t try to be a hero like me. Running 10km once weeks before the run is not exactly ideal preparation. But if you’re already into the final week and find yourself short of running mileage, forget it. It’s too late, so prepare yourself in other ways. But if you're Nas and you need a year to train, then you better get started now.

Point #2 : Drink up!

Without trying to sound like a SAF Commander, a good hydration plan goes a long way. The day before the race is especially critical. Always have a bottle in hand and drink till your bladder burst. Seriously. No, SERIOUSLY. I drank so much during the race that I had to pee midway. That itself is incredible given the amount of water I lost through sweating. Whatever it is, peeing is way better than having to shit your pants out in the middle of East Coast. Someone that I knew did that. Aku kuat suspect you all know who he is.

Point #3 : You'll never run alone

Find a friend or two that have preferably trained to run with and you'll find yourself constantly pushing yourself. Running with Jon and Darryl not only meant that I was running at a decent pace, it also served as a motivation to not fall behind the both of them. I know, ego sial. And if ever you start doubting yourself during the race, that's what your running buddies are for.

Point #4 : Do not be deceived

This year's marathon attracted a record 50,000 runners and with that many people, you are sure to see thousands of bobbing heads in front of you. That does not mean you're slow though. It can be very tempting to try and overtake everyone in your way ,especially in the first few kilometres when you still have bundles of energy. So always stick to your pace and like the slogan says, "Run your own race". It cannot get any truer than that.

Point #5 : Glass is half full

A marathon is very much a mental race as it is a physical one. And when your body starts to fail you, it is your mind that will pull you through. So always encourage yourself and think positive thoughts. Think food, think hellos, think Nas joget zapin. My personal mantra is with every passing step, I can only get closer to the finish line. Amasham.

Point #6 : Think before you run

This is pretty much a no brainer. Us lazy bums are usually without the necesary training, so it'll be wise to adopt a running strategy. The Run-Walk strategy is preferable and you don't actually have much of a choice. After running yourself to the ground usually around the 20++km mark, it is more strategic to walk fast rather than try to start running again. The cramps won't go away, so just dig deep and open up your strides.

Point #7 : Savour your Olympic moment

You see the finish line and hordes of supporters are cheering for you as you drag yourself for the final few metres. This is YOUR moment, embrace it. As the cameras flash, muka maintain and end your race with a glorious pose. Pat yourself on the back, you've done it!

Zack And Miri Make A Porno

KEVIN SMITH IS FUCKING AWESOME. My favourite director/producer/writer continues his awesome work (okay minus Jersey Girl and Mallrats) with his latest production, Zack And Miri Make A Porno. It had all the hallmarks of a Kevin Smith masterpiece - snappy, pop culture-referring, witty dialogue, fucking brilliant soundtrack and an off-beat modern plot interwoven with an unconventional love story.

The story's about purely-platonic roommates Zack (Seth Rogen from Superbad and Knocked Up) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks from The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Spiderman II and III) who suffer from financial difficulty and decide to make a porno to pay their bills. In the course of doing so, they fall in love; and with the help of their friends and cast, they make the movie a fucking (pun intended) success.

Here are two scenes that perfectly capture the essence of the film:

This is Miri trying to hit on Bobby Long, her high school crush at a high school reunion. But Miri was in for a very big surprise. This entire scene is so very Kevin Smith.



Okay this next scene is when Zack and Miri are about to have sex for the first time, in their porn movie Swallow My Cockuccino (yes it's coffeehouse-themed porn). By then, both of them have realised their feelings for the other, but have yet to express it. Okay it starts off DAMN retarded but when they get down to it, it's actually romantic. And Kevin used a damn nice song (Hold Me Up by Live) for this scene.



Tell you what guys. Nothing beats watching the whole thing in a cinema or on DVD. Trust me. One of Kevin Smith's awesomest.

Satays? Chili ah.

Lemme tell you about this thing I just got.

I'd imagine it to be... Just like having a hello satay.

You'll feel the butterflies coming in your tummy, but you'll act all cool and nonchalant at first.

After a while though, you can't resist...

Like being in love, you'll close your eyes involuntarily.

Blood will rush through your head as the feeling sets in, and you'll smile.

Cause the feeeeelin'...

As it caresses your lips and fondles your tongue, it'll burn.

And burn some more.

Then you'll realize sommat's wrong; you know it's not right, you need to get out but you can't

The feeling stays with you without mercy, hurting. BAD.

And there's absolutely nothing, you can do.

You sweat, your nose drip, your scalp itches, your throat cries for clemency, your heart pounds like a demon, your chest hyperventilates, even your ears hurt...

And just like a satay that's too hello for you, it'll leave you in tears.

Chili so g**damn shitpiss m******fucking kisurat¹⁷ hot, you'll only need 2 drops. Seriously. No, seriously.

Mau ke pe?

Don't Think Of Satays Until You've Brushed Your Teeth

Okay in response to the previous post, I have to say that even if we are seen as satayly-challenged gentlemen, the bottom line is to be ourselves and not try to be someone we're not. Play to our strengths, guys. Don't sell your soul for a bunch of satays.

And what is one of our biggest strengths? Our very nice smiles! And how do we maintain our bright white smiles? By brushing our teeth with Darlie of course!

Hahaha here are some stills from my Darlie photoshoot yesterday. (The ones I can put up, of course)





HAHAHAHA this is me celebrating cos I got free toothbrush and toothpaste. WOOT WOOT yo.



This is my "Hmm am I supposed to go to Paradiz or Paradigm?" look, plus a toothbrush in my mouth.

And since I couldn't decide which it was, I sat down and brushed my teeth la. Typical of me.





Then I wondered what it'll be like if I were to brush my teeth underwater.







But I decided against it, so I went into some jungle with a stream running through it and continued brushing my teeth.

















Darlie: When You Want To Get A Satay. And no, that's not the real tagline.

definitely food for thought

Ok i was talking to my cousin on MSN when this came out of the blue. Unprompted.


farah! says: this is very anticlimax butt
farah! says: i really really think sji guys are gentlemen
farah! says: like seriously. compared to the other boys sch
farah! says: they're like Mr Nice Guys and apparently Mr Nice Guys dont get the girls..
farah! says: they're most of the times girls' guy besties..
farah! says: so maybe thats why you and sji mat friends are still single haha
farah! says: food for thought

Given that her benchmark for SJI guys are me and her school friends, I don't know how much truth the above statements hold. Haha insult? Or compliment?

Another reason to stop being nice and start being bad boys.

Play that dick song,bitch!

Liverpool 0 West Ham 0

Why am I not surprised about the scoreline. The game was almost as boring as Mus at Rai's birthday, so close. No clear cut chances. Chelsea lost and Liverpool managed to get only 1 point from West Ham.
1st mistake of the game - Benayoun. What was Rafa thinking? I know, you all will say he's good and all. But seriously, SERIOUSLY, NO. He was supposed to be playing on the right, but keeps getting lost in the middle ah, nak step striker. Kuyt and Keane were the strikers (even though they did nth) so just let them play as strikers and you fucking stay on the right.
2nd mistake - Dossena. Like I said last time, even Nazir is better than Dossena. No, I wasn't joking. I rather Carragher play on the left then let Agger and Hyypia be in the middle. Before this morning, there were 2 games that Dossena started in, both of which Liverpool didn't win. Now, it's 3, woohoo!
3rd mistake - Babel is good, but he's not getting the chances. Sometimes I really don't get Benitez ah. Babel should've came in for Riera earlier ah. Riera's not playing his cool-flowing style ah, what happened man.
4th mistake - Choosing Benayoun over Mascherano. Rafa should've played Gerrard as 2nd striker la. Kuyt on the right and Mascherano in the middle. 4-4-1-1. Benayoun didn't contribute anything anyway.
5th to 17th mistake - Benayoun. 'Nuff said.

What, you all think I'm such a lousy fan right. K la, I'm actually delighted coz Liverpool is at the top of the table, leading the 2nd-placed team by.. HOLD-THE-PHONE.. 1 point! Omg! NOW I think Liverpool can win the title. In fact, what is the FA waiting for? Give them the trophy now ah, they're top of the table with 1 point clear.

If I were a Director

Check out the endings to these videos. Thats how movies should be.

December 08!

Now that December is around the corner of a 50-cent coin, I will put up the list of stuff that we can do. Zat and I were talking about it during our gym sessions. Zat have an incomplete draft but I guess he’s waiting for all us to get satays before he posts it. So I’m gonna put down the list here. It’s of no order of importance or significance obviously.

1. Get a satay/pick up one

Well, this is at the top of the list for no apparent reason, not because it’s impt or anything. It’s just a good start to a list. I mean, not all of us have satays right, it’ll be good if those of us get one, so we can all go out together or smth. But remember, chill, if you don’t want one, it’s ok.

2. Visit the zoo

The last time we went to one, it was in a foreign country. So I think we should visit the one in Singapore. Who knows what kind of wild animals we can see in the zoo. My advice is “Suit up!"

3. Get a digital SLR Camera

My verdict is, “We don’t need one." Our lives have been interesting - our brains are already trained in taking snapshots of events. Remember that time.. when we ... and then..... hahahaha... Anyway, Panasonic’s got this newer version of digital SLR, interchangeable lens dok.

Well, now let’s continue with the things that we might actually do.

4. Badminton

It’s been a long time since we played badminton, so ya. Restring your racquets if you need to. Or just buy a 200+ one on impulse before you play.

5. Beaching at Sentosa

Finally we will get to play Frisbee properly. Why do you think I’ve been going to the gym with Zat over the last few weeks? So that we can show off our body. Before, we were just floating heads.

6. Carpark frisbee

Well, when plan 5 fails, we can do this.

7. (Wan, hold your pants.) Bowling

Let’s just make Wan happy by bowling la. Then he’ll lose to Zat again, or maybe to me once or twice. Haha.

8. FICO

Hopefully Rahmat organizes one then we can just join in, since kita semua pemalas haram. Though I really think we should try organizing one. By WE, I don't mean ME alone.

9. Traditional rain-'dance'

No, we’re not gonna dance like Ted Mosby. We don’t wanna get strike by lightning. Karaoke gang. Now that ‘Don’t Forget The Lyrics’ is on, semangat sikit ah. Though I still think K-NITE is better than that show.

10. Paintball

Of course. How can I forget this. This was in the plan since July 08 ah. Nazir did his research all but in the end masuk angin keluar asap. So this time hopefully it’ll happen.

Ok, I can’t really remember all the things that we planned to do ah. So Zat, you just top up or smth ah.

Uh layout

So the layout is light pastel cyan (baby blue). So it's got clouds. So it's a wee bit gay. But look on the bright side. We've got super-vulgar, police-fucking songs to more than make up for it.

#My dick don't fit down the chimney
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines...#

Why we make bad bloggers

Looking at the staggering statistics on the right, it is safe to say that this blog has been nothing short of miserable recently. In fact, it is abyssmal. Likening this to theTottenham situation, TOWNS has been going through a barren patch of form, devoid of ideas and bereft of creativity. While the problems appear to be obvious, I think there are several underlying issues that can help explain the current situation. Could Nas's recent entry spark a Harry Redknapp-esque revival of fortunes for TOWNS though? Well hisap because nobody cares and we can't get relegated.



Problem # 1 : Kita pemalas haram (We are forbiddenly lazy)

For a blog to function and exist for that matter, the writer(s) need to start pulling in their weight. I mean fine Mus, you've contributed enough and I thoroughly enjoy your reading but what about the rest. Sometimes, the ideas are right there in our heads but for one reason or another, typing it on the keyboard seem to be a mammoth task. Like sometimes I wonder how Amy can maintain her blog on a regular and interesting basis but sometimes, I think it is just us. So stretch your fingers people, they need a good workout on the qwerty threadmill.



Problem # 2 : Kita happening gils ( We are damn happening)

It is a well-known fact that snails lead more interesting lives than us. I'm pretty sure the word 'boring' was named after us and 'boring gila' was named after Nas. So in a way, it's not our fault that the entries are not coming. What is there to write if there is nothing to write about. I'm sure we can write about school but I think to all of us, its too mundane. I'm sure we can write about soccer but even that gets too routine sometimes. I'm also sure we can write about our gfs but I think to all of us, its nothing. Nothing not because we dont have one. I mean which group of 22 year old guys cant even have at least ONE gf between them right.What losers they are, if they existed. We are just a shy bunch, just don't read into deep the name of our blog.



Problem # 3 : Kita kemaluan besar ( We are very very shy - you dont want the literal translation)



To add some colour to the blog, people generally use pictures to illustrate their day. The fact is that we don't use our camera phones enough to capture priceless moments because we don't want to appear as camwhores. Not surprisingly though, the cameras only start flickering behind-the-scenes when nobody's looking. This is when I will discover pictures of the utmost retardedness of the usual suspects, meaning Faliq as wallpaper on my phone.I suggest we pool money to buy a SLR Camera and some have already suggested buying a DVD Camcorder but like all suggestions we make, it will remain as suggestions. And when we do have a camera in hand, very artistic photographers aka Suff likes to take random and subjective pictures of his shoes, my shoes and your shoes if you're lucky. Really not blog-worthy and in a way, you should be thankful if you havent seen them.

These are basically the root problems that pretty much explains the demise of our blog right now. Hopefully, things will improve once exams are out of the way. In fact, get set for Dramatic December 08! where all our procrastinated plans hopefully wont get procrastinated into the next year. Watch this space.

2 Words: KI- SURAT!

Firstly, hisap Suff. Lagu mat rep seh. Just because I have been stranded on an island off the west, it doesn't mean that you all gotta let this blog die ah.

In too deep, and lost in time.
Why'd you have to go and let it die.

What up! Amasham aku. The first one to finish his exams, and also the first one who's gonna be getting an academic warning. Baik dok. What a way to finish off my exams ah, with the hardest paper. I don't know why I brought my book ah. It didn't help me at all, I dunno what I had to look for also. So much for open-book. And I thought thermo was already quite rabak. I've a feeling my cap will go back below 3 ah.

K ah, after the NUS guys finish their exams, we'll havoc ah, ape lagi. My legs are already itching. Furthermore with Liverpool in quite a good form, I'm inspired ah.

Arguably The Best... Episode Of Clerks: The Animated Series

I am a huge fan of Kevin Smith movies. Great shows like Dogma, Clerks, Clerks 2, Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back and Chasing Amy have kept me addicted to his brand of offbeat dialogue and his rather...bohemian humour.

But how does Kevin Smith fare as a producer, writer and director of a cartoon series?

Quite fucking well, I should say. Although I am sure most of you would think this is really weird crap.

But don't judge until you see the whole thing. Here's Clerks: The Animated Series episode 4: "A Dissertation on the American Justice System by People Who Have Never Been Inside a Courtroom, Let Alone Know Anything About the Law, but Have Seen Way Too Many Legal Thrillers".

Oh and I must say. The ending is epic.

And The Satay Goes To...

By the time you're 21, you should have a rough idea of what you would look for in a significant other. For us at Towns, that idea is really damn rough. Mainly because we haven't had enough girlfriends to really pick out our preferred character traits in a girl. In the case of Nas, he has absolutely no idea what he looks for in a girl. As long as she's hello and alive he's happy. But for those of us who have a clearer picture of what we look for in a partner, I shall present it here.

At the risk of being dating service ads...

Aizat's dream girl must...
- be sporty
- be feisty
- be down-to-earth
- have a decent sense of fashion.

So tennis girls who shop at Zara but who never forget your roots, you're perfect for Aizat. Whether Aizat is suitable for you or not we shall see.

But moving on...

Nazir's dream girl is an overused condom. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Inside joke. Nazir's dream girl is...
- DEMURE
- witty
- left-handed

Those of you who know Nazir and think he's really dreamy, but find yourself mired in right-handedness, CHOP OFF YOUR RIGHT HAND NOW. And then act shy about it, but when the right time arises, crack a sarcastic comment about it (like, "Oh that was HANDY" or something).

Perfect way to land the dude, trust me.

As for me, my dream girl must...
- have a sense of humour
- be intelligent
- be confident
- have a TREMENDOUS sense of fun

Hahaha so yes if you're all that, then hello! Oh but if you smoke, then eat my shorts.

A few hundred years from now, when we finally get ourselves a girlfriend, we'll revisit this post and see if she somehow fits the criteria (small as it is) that we set aside today.

Arguably The Best... Episode Of Goodness Gracious Me

Okay we all love media content right? I realise that I am particularly choosy and discriminating when it comes to media content, Mass Communications student that I am.

So every now and then I'll pop in to share with you what I think is the best content 21st century media has to offer. And I'll start off with Goodness Gracious Me, one of the better sketch shows around.

Watch, and enjoy.

Pure Class

To all the Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal and Hull fans out there, you all can Isap. Only a player from Man Utd can do this. And Nas, please don't try.

Fantastic move by Berbatov
Uploaded by venom__2

IF YOU TOLERATE THIS.....then good for you ah.

MANIC STREET PREACHERS DUUUUDES!



When you think of a group of Welshmen rockin' out an arena, who do you think of? Lostprophets? Super Furry Animals? Cardiff City?

Well, I think of the original Welsh rockers, The Manic Street Preachers. Fronted by charismatic frontman James Dean Bradfield, the Preachers have been active for over a decade and have spawned enough hits to make me an ardent die-hard fan.

So good news for me and individuals of similar music taste, Manic Street Preachers are performing at Fort Canning Park (yes the one in Singapore) on the 24th of November. My life may be complete because I've already caught Oasis live, but catching this gig will enrich my life even further, in leaps and bounds. Really really. No joke.

Those of you who have not been enlightened by the brilliant music that can only originate from the Preachers can check out their music videos (the best - in my humble opinion - of which I've put up below. Columbia records is being a bitch and not allowing me to embed their videos, but you can check out the links, yo).

For those of you who are already fans of Manic Street Preachers, get out of this blog, go to sistic.com.sg, and buy the damn tickets!

I will see you there, and nobody will Steal The Sun From Our Hearts.

Your Love Alone Is Not Enough. Fucking brilliant song, featuring Nina Persson accompanying James on vocals.

You Stole The Sun From My Heart. Yes, the very same anthem of lovelorn scenesters worldwide.

Autumnsong. Now baby what have you done to your hair? Oh my god this fucking orgasmic rock anthem inspires nostalgia, energy and highs all at the same time.

AFL Round Up

Last weekend marked the end of the AFL season for TLFC, a team with the motto 'Better Late than Never'. We finished a respectable 4th, playing some decent and attractive football along the way. This is my post season analysis of our team players, in the context of amateur footballers of course.

Goalkeeper

Irwan - The man you want to see in between the posts. Probably the single most important player in the team, his reflexes and shot stopping abilities always keep the team in the game. So confident of himself he can do without the praises.

Defenders

Ben - Needs to build confidence to raise his level of play. Always capable of providing a crunching tackle, we believe in him and so should he.

Faliq - His presence rarely goes unnoticed, one reason or another. Big, physical and very sweaty. Strong in the air but can be caught out for pace at times.

Russell - Excellent positioning makes his head a magnet for balls. Good reader of the game but by his own admission needs a very loud alarm clock.

Nazir - So lanky his legs are an independent part of the body. Overall game has improved and already has a few goals to his belt from set pieces.

Jon - Hair like apek, solid like telur, he is our own version of Apek makan telur. Undoubtedly the most reliable player in the team, he doesn't get fazed by the opponents or the occasion. Rarely loses out in a tackle and never runs out of gas.

Fahmy - Mr Personality and now Mr Policeman, he shows good touches for a defender and can bring the ball out of the backline with relative ease. Doesn't like to head the ball but can spear opponents in another ball game.

Denzyl - Calm and steady presence at the back help eases the nerves for the team. Dependable player that is always welcome once he is back from his overseas stint.

Midfielders

Aloy - With a new shaven look, he is slowly regaining his touches back and will hopefully whip in the crosses for good.

Hatta - Good addition to the team and provides valuable defensive cover when he plays in the middle. Runs around intercepting balls and breaking down opponent's momentum. A thankless job.

Sheer - Another recent acquisition, he is definitely an eye pleaser. Extremely comfortable on the ball coupled with great vision and composure. What else can I say, CLASS.

Syah - A resident joker that plays some serious football. Occasionally flamboyant and equally versatile on the flanks, he usually produces the more memorable moments of the game.

Suff - Burn Suff Burn! Fantastic pace and acceleration leaves defenders in their trails but final ball is lacking. The complexity of his brain means he is always caught in THREE minds.

Faizal - Prefers to eat Ban Mian on the bench but has the natural instinct to be at the right place and right time on the pitch. Contributed to a number of important goals for the team.

Darryl - Tireless running and harassing makes him a pain in the ass for opposing defenders. Tenacity personified.

Nas - Small in size but big in his pants. Proves that brains will always overcome brawns. Touches are usually very assured and always looks up to thread the killer ball. Provides a massive goal average tally of one per season.

Azhari - Technically gifted, he makes football look easy. Can play in ALL positions and has an array of tricks that can put anyone to shame.

Strikers

Daniel - Possesses a footballing brain that usually leads to clever movements and calculated passes. Clinical and intuitive, which are important elements for a striker.

Aidil - The feisty goal poacher who always looks to put the ball into the net. Holds the ball up very well and is able to bring others into play at the same time.

Mus - Neither right legged nor left legged. Just a single body that deflects balls. Can score hat trick with his Adam's apple.

I am sure Tohari Paijan disagrees with me but itu dia punya seluardalam. Let's continue for another season and with further bolstering of our squad, I seriously believe we are capable of continuing to play football that we all can be proud of. Baik TL.

happening gils

Can't get to sleep? Then here are some pics from Jalan Raya Paling Boring Kisuratttttttt 08.

This was my debut parking experience at MSCP.

The woman in the middle is Cikgu Fauziah. She was our sec 1 & 2 Malay teacher. She's very happy that we visited her but even happier that we are no longer her students.

Suff Masterpiece #1

Suff Masterpiece #2

Suff Masterpiece #3

Priceless moment of the day

Apa cerita dengan muka kau Suff. Nak lawan Simple Jack eh.

I don't even know why I bothered to post this. Yawnnnnnnnnn, off to bed.

Pardon My French

Bonjour mes amis!
Je parle français parce que l'etudier!
Je me presente.
Je m'appelle Dingus Kuchifart.
Comment allez-vous?
J'habite à Garbage Dump, Illinois.
J'ai soixante et onze ans.
Tu as deux cents ans!
Muahahahahaha!
J'aime masturber.
Heh heh heh heh!
Enchante.
Je dois y aller.
Au revoir!

apek main jauh jauh

I'm going to post my Raya pics just to offset the Apek. Hopefully, my face is more afdal.

Makan at Han River BBQ

Since nas asked me to post the details here...
Where: Han River BBQ Restaurant
When: Tuesday at 6pm
Meet at simei mrt at 6pm preferably... any questions ask nas.. amacam aku baik.. just type in tagboard..

Apek Makan Telur: A Prologue

At TOWNs, not only are we irresistable gentlemen who can get dates easily, we are also the connoisseurs of hand games. Step aside Scissors Paper Stone (Rock Paper Scissors, depending on your geographical location), because TOWNS brings to you Apek Makan Telur.

More of this thrilling game to come soon when I'm less lazy to blog about it.

But for now, know this: a few years in the future when you're excitedly watching The First Ever Apek Makan Telur World Cup on ESPN, taking in the fever pitch atmosphere and the charismatic commentary of John Motson and Andy Gray, you read about it first on TOWNs.

Nasi berenang

To all the budding Malay students out there, dengar la kata kata perangsang TOWNS.

"Berani kerana benar, briyani kerana nasi"

Sekian, terima kasih.

Hisap

Guys, tomorrow meet at Paya Lebar MRT ah, at 530? I'm thinking we go to the Mr Teh Tarik near Joo Chiat then we can go to Geylang from there. If you have any objections, please come out with a better idea or solution. I'm not gonna sms anyone, so you all spread the word. Those who are coming, just confirm. If we don't even have 5, including me, then no need to waste time ah, aku buka kat rumah je.

Tulis Alamat dalam Surat

K guys, KECOH DOK!! So many things happening in the few days that I didn't go online. I'll address one thing at a time.

1) Soccer :- weekday soccer like a bit hard to plan coz everyone is busy hisap-ing each other or dunno wateva shit u all are doing. So Azhari, if you're reading, soccer on weekday susah dok. But we can play on Sunday ah, telok blangah, confirm.

2) Buka out :- Faliq, since they're gonna select the team already, it's ok that we miss hockey since we are a VERY INTEGRAL part of the team. So let's buka out on Friday ah guys. Now, the place, where? Al-azhar? Or Azhari decide ah. Zat, driving juga ke pe?? Or Wan/Zal? if Friday got 2 cars, then gerek dok, can go further.

3) Geylang :- Ok, I also need to go Geylang, to get kain samping. How bout we go on Saturday k. Since Nazir said he might wanna get capal as well. So set Saturday Geylang k.

4) Raya outing :- Sam, raya outing as long as not on 18th October, can liao. So you all decide on a date ah. Hahah. But I don't want it to be like last year ah, only 6 or 7 guys keluar raya, pun best pe. And half of them SJI mats, kisurat. Either 11th, 19th or 25th ah. But 25th is the last 6 days of raya ah.

K, settle. Biasalahkan aku, the most efficient planner here. I know, thx.

Buka out

Guys, next week since NUS and NTU term break, can we play soccer on one of the weekdays then buka out? Azhari's request ah. So who's free on which day? Nazir takpe ah, budak SMU memang boring right guys, u know. Any suggestions to where we can play and buka? Zal, try to get the AC mats as well ah, the more the merrier, at least for soccer.

Back to geek mode

Ok guys, I've received the cut from the ivp floorball team liao. That's like only 2 weeks into training ah, and I'm out, kental dok. So now I shall revert back to the arrogant-loner-geek that I've beeen. Apparently the 'coach', who is a NIE student by the way, said "Your game sense is there, but your stickwork needs more improvement. Don't worry, it's not the end of the world for you, you can still keep playing floorball. I'll be arranging some stuff for those who are still interested in playing. It's the hardest decision I've made to cut you from the team." Then don't cut la, belo. But nvm ah, I'm not interested in playing a sport that's not recognised in the Olympics anyway (sour grapes, hahaha). After looking at how sebarang floorball can be played, I don't think it's a game for me. Combined uni hockey ke pe! Haha. At least I think my stickwork is better there. Furthermore it's definitely more fun than that stupid hockey-wannabe.

Liverpool 2 Man Utd 1

First of all, chill Zal. There will surely be a victory post. I was too tired to post last night, and too lazy to do it this morning. Right now my ears are still ringing from the screams of victory, "YEAHHH!! WOOOOOHHHHOOOO!!!" K, let me at least celebrate for now ah, coz it's really been a long time since Liverpool beat Man U in the league.

I think the preview of the game featured the new major signing from each club:

Berbatov vs Riera. I didn't even know who the hell Riera is la.

I was shocked when my cousin called me saying Tevez scored only after 3 mins into the game. I thought he was joking ah, thx man. We were still at Zamzam then la. So when we were reaching SMU, we heard people shouting "GOAL!". I was obviously panicking while running to see the screen. I thought Man U scored. Well, in fact, a Man U player scored, just on the wrong end. At 1-1, Liverpool was still shaky though. Liverpool started to pick up momentum only in the 2nd half. I've to say Riera was quite impressive ah. His style of play has flair dok, good touches, sleek movements. Potentially a proper replacement for Garcia, unlike Benayoun. He wasn't fully fit though, so a bit upset. Benayoun had a chance in front of goal, after someone's nice chip-through-pass but he blew it, as in literally I think, coz the speed of the ball was infinitesimal ah. Then in came the talismanic Gerrard for Benayoun. Ironically his first pass was wayward, letting a Man U player fire a shot. Later on, Babel replaced Riera and he made an immediate impact. Mascherano's determination was crucial throughout the whole game, including the winning goal. He won the ball at the byline, slipped it to Kuyt to assist Babel. I don't understand why Benayoun started instead of Babel. Babel was running at the defenders all, with some tricks, and also a nutmeg for Brown, nicely executed. Kisurat. But Kuyt didn't score from Babel's pass, standard.

This time round, Liverpool's midfield was more superior. Alonso made all the key passes and started most of the play. Mascherano won almost every ball, emulating Alonso's passing capabilities at times as well. Riera baik, and so too was Babel obviously. I hope this moral-boosting victory is a good sign of things to come. The fans are still waiting.

I will survive

I dunno why I can't log in to my msn now. Maybe it's just me, but I seriously think Starhub matrep. This is not the first time that Starhub isap. So I decided to write this entry. As you all know, I've been going for floorball training right. Amasham aku, that's one step up from being the unfriendly-arrogant-loner or whatever other names there are for a person like me, in school. Surprisingly, after 2 sessions of training-cum-ivp-selection, a lot of the guys know my name ah, bayyik. I just came back from training, which is not tiring at all, DAMN slack. It's been so long since I went for proper serious intensive training, the last was SRC U-21 hockey if I'm not wrong. So now the coach is cutting down players for the IVP team, so basically most of the noobs will get the cut ah. That includes me. So at the end of the training, it was like survivor ah, he called all the new guys, saying "You're safe" to every guy who's got the potential of making the team. Lucky for me, aku selamat dok. However, every week he'll be cutting players. Hopefully next week I can show some improvements ah, and not isap so badly. Jangan Berhenti Berharap sua. Omg, I can sign into msn now, finally.

Roger that

I couldn't be more happy for the guy.

To all those skeptics, this is Roger Federer's way of asking you to hisap bodoh. History-making, record-breaking, awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping, 13 Grand Slams and counting, he is definitely here to stay.

Lost it? I don't think so.

why l shouldn't be written as i

In more ways than one, STEAM COCKIES is just wrong ah. Tak afdal dok.

Surat tak rasmi

Guys, this saturday, 13th Sept is the showdown between Liverpool and Man Utd. So how bout we buka out then watch the match. Kick off is 1245 UK time, so I suppose it's 845 SG time. I was thinking Fig&Olive, then standard ah - Selegie. Feel free to drop any suggestions though, for the venues.

Format Surat Rasmi

Okay this is proof that I'm retarded. I've been listening to this band ah, for the past year, and I didn't immediately make their connection to us, until now. I like them for their almost campy, indie tunes - the kind that I know which you guys won't appreciate. But you guys have to try watching this video. Why? Not because it's for a song called Dog Problems, even though some of us might relate to the song and video. But because this song is by a band called..............
The Format.

Breaking the SJIM tradition

Make room in my wallet, TOWNS has a new driver.

He is a devil

Good things are worth the wait. And this guy right here is definitely worth waiting for. Dimitar Berbatov has finally signed for Man U and I am elated. He is an absolute class act armed with silky touches and sheer moments of brilliance. The kind of player that leaves your mouth gaping, not in the Richardson kind of way. Just imagine him spearheading the attack with Rooney, Tevez and Ronaldo providing the ammunition. Ahhhhhhhhhhh the beautiful game

Another striker?

In all seriousness, why does Liverpool need another striker? I know the guy's free la, but still. In the last 2 seasons, they bought Torres, Keane, Nemeth, Pacheco, Ngog. In addition to El-Zhar, and the useless Kuyt. Also they have Babel who can play both as a striker and a winger. And now, there's another striker. But what's the use of having young strikers when they don't get the chance to play in any league matches. Nemeth and Pacheco performed so well for the reserves, with Nemeth scoring goals for fun, but never had the chance to play in the premier league, not even as subs. From what I saw last night, the players can now be played anywhere what, even if they are out of position. Like Lucas can be played on the left then maybe Keane can play on the left. Kuyt is still playing as a right winger. Don't even know why he's playing in the first place. Then you can bring in Benayoun and play him as a second striker. Wtf.

And Zat, if I were you, I wouldn't have gone for the run la. The thing started at 415pm and you reached at 5pm, kiiisurat. Class ah kau.

Nike 10K

Next time before you embark on a 10km run, here are a few things you can take note.

Lesson #1 : Do not play a competitive soccer match on the morning of your race day.

Logic should always prevail here but then again, I cannot bear to give the beautiful game a miss.

Lesson #2 : Do not play the match with no substitutes at all.

It is one thing to play a match but another to play without no one at the sidelines to replace you. The situation was so bad Zal played the whole game. He has since retired from football. Circumstances definitely made it harder for the 11 men on the pitch, but we won. At a cost, of course. (baik nye rhyme)

Lesson #3 : Watch your diet.

A plate of mee goreng with no veggie and lots of sambal doesn’t exactly make for the best lunch in preparation for your run few hours later. Come to think about it, I ate maggie in the wee hours of the morning as well. Very wise choice there. I’m on my way to become a nutritionist.

Lesson #4 : I am not a superstar. I am not a superstar. I am not a superstar.

When the start time indicates 415pm, stick to it. Because if you don’t, you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb. By the time I reached the start point, it was 5pm and the gantry was empty. I was wondering where had all the participants gone since there was supposed to be a prominent pool of red. Little did I know that they were already running in the opposite direction. The roads in front of me were practically empty and I was officially one of the last few runners out of 10000 to start the race. I could see thousands of faces giving me the look from the corner of my eyes since I was the only blooming idiot to run in the opposite direction. Tapi yang penting, muka maintain. Confidence mesti ada. And that was what I did until I caught up with the people in front of me. Very humbling experience.

Lesson #5 : Immerse yourself in music

When you’re running alone, music is the perfect companion. Not only will it drown away the noisy footsteps of the other runners, it helps to put you in the mood. You know, your game face. The one that gives you that invincible feeling but deep inside, you’re cursing yourself, someone or other random innocent things because you just want the suffering to end. Don’t be too caught up with the emotions of the song tough. You don’t want to tire yourself out just because of Cold play’s ‘Fix You’. I learnt that the hard way.

Lesson #6 : Look around, seriously

This would be the perfect race for Nas. If ever he needs any motivation to run, then the eye candies in red would be it. Not that you’ll have time to talk to them, but I don’t think that will be a problem with us. Statues make better conversations with hellos than us. And literally, you will be chasing them and chasing as we all know it ,gives us the thrill. (baik Sheer. Kau class)

Lesson #7 : Run your own race

It is very easy to get carried away with your adrenaline constantly burning but always listen to your body. You know yourself best and you know your limits. It is perfectly ok when runners people overtake you so long as you’re pacing yourself right.

Lesson #8 : Run smart

Since I am no longer the runner I used to be, it took me a while to get into the groove. And since the route doesn’t allow me to build any sort of momentum, it was better to utilise certain part of the routes instead. Like for parts where you pass through the narrow tunnel or across a bridge, you can seriously just take a chill pill and walk. No point trying to jog and overtake because the space simply doesn’t allow you to. For downwards slopes, open up your strides whereas for upwards slopes, lean forward. All these simple measures will ensure yourself of a better run in the end.

Lesson #9 : Back to basics

My limbs are still aching and I think I know why. STRETCH. That’s right, do it before and after the race. Don’t ever think you can do without it or you’ll suffer the repercussions. Just like me.

Lesson #10 : Just go

There are no traffic rules. No signals, no blind spot checking. You see the space in front of you and then you go. Body contact is inevitable so squeeze, push , shove, whatever. You don’t want your movement to be restricted by the people around you.