My anthem, growing up

Anthems Of My Growing Up

I heard Here is Gone by Goo Goo Dolls the other day in Nas' car and I realised I really miss 90s rock, and all those songs I listened to as a kid in SJI, 2E2. These are the anthems of my growing up, the songs that play in my head before they invented cheap-ass mp3 players. These are the songs that made me who I am yo. So what's yours?

For Those Of Us Who Nak Kahwin

Triangle has 1 side

You know sometimes when we go out with Mus or Jon, we are thankful for how different we are from them; us being smart and them being, just themselves.

Well when I thought nobody could be as dumb as them, America apparently has a whole bunch of dumb people. As in seriously, Mus and jon are funny dumb. These people are like, wow seh. Like some stuff you might not know, ok ah, like who Tony Blair is or all. But if you don't know how many sides a triangle has, thats saying something.



And I found this too



Not as entertaining and as well done as the first, but you get the idea. I bet the tall white guy is an American too.

Birthday Boy

Hey Boy, happy birthday. You've accomplished a lot ah in the last year. Getting your license, working full time. Your body getting bigger, girls checking you out, Kau bagus ah. Hopefully next birthday, got more stuff to add.

Y Mike Boy Jack Aou lei to you ah Boy!

Habis Cerita

As you all know, I just finished my IA last Friday. It was a good experience working, futhermore it's my first time working.

Basically I had to do problem-solving (according to Nazir nothing since I don't even know what I'm doing). I was involved in a passenger-to-freighter conversion of a Boeing plane. In simple terms, converting a passenger plane to a cargo plane, savvy? It's a modification project where the installations have to adhere to the drawings that Boeing provided. When the technicians face difficulties installing components/parts, they'll come to my department. So we have to propose a solution and liaise with the Boeing engineers. If they approve it, then it's ok, we'll give the solution to the production side. Obviously it sounds easy la. Well, there were some easy problems, but they don't come that often.

During my time there, I really came across all sorts of people ah, some weird, some funny, some gila nak mampus. Hahaha. Somehow I think I'm gonna miss the people in my office (this sounds fucking gay). My mentor really reminded me of myself ah, gila-gila, bual merepek all. He helped me a lot. Then there's this guy really olpiece, talk bout investments tak habis2, bout how his life plan, bout house loan all, kisurat, a'uh la sial. This other guy reminds me of Ted Mosby, his hair and the way he talks. And there's this guy who's shorter than me, seriously.

Not that I wanna boast la, but one of the Boeing engineers was like telling my supervisor to like sign me all, "Hey, you guys should just take him in now. He doesn't need to go to school anymore. He's doing such a wonderful job already." He really likes me ah, hahah. Even though I was given the option to extend my IA, no thx ah. I really wanted a break since school's a month away and all my non-IA friends telling me that year 3 stuff is damn hard so I think I need to be mentally prepared (I'm sure la). Haha. Well, that's that.

But the more important thing you should ask "Why mike jack boy a'uh?"

Note to self

Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.
Running a marathon is very painful and I will not partake in it ever again.

Ok guys the next time I say anything about running an ultra marathon, please do not entertain my thoughts and kindly refer me to this entry. Thanks.

WADDUUUUP

BEST FREAKING 2 WEEKS OF MY LIFE. Not really la, but pretty close.

A picture says a thousand words right? So get ready to read a few thousand words.

Here We Come

After all the discussion and whatever shit, this is where we stand, as in literally:



If you can't see it, it's Free Standing at Pen A.

With Arms Wide Open

Dear Mus

You were young and naive. It was too soon to leave the herd. You ventured out, were exposed to the harsh realities of life. You thought you were ready, able to take on the world! It felt good, you were emboldened with every step you took. It was a good run. Alas, it was not to be. Do not fret. You are not alone. We take you back in, accept you as one of us. One of TOWNS.

Welcome back home.

Wedding Insights Part 2

The last time I attended a wedding and made an entry, it had an unexpected impact on our readers somehow. So much so that one of them decided to quit TOWNS for good, which in retrospect was a very wise decision. For all the unfortunate members left here, you can choose not to read beyond this paragraph. Because believe it or not, life in TOWNS can get worse. It's true!

The past weekend, my cousin got married. I've been involved in weddings before but this time round it's much more surreal. Not only because she's a very close cousin of mine but mainly because like it or not, it's about time we give marriage a thought. While God knows who we're (or not) going to marry, in the event that we do we can at least be prepared. Financially I mean.

I've learnt that the market rate is $30000 or thereabouts. Of course it won't be used in one shot, but still that's how much we need to have beforehand for both the persandingan and the pernikahan the day before. This is just a rough figure, but it's pretty accurate. My mum recently reminded me about it and it was the same figure that my cousin gave when I personally asked her about it. I will not divulge into the details of the amount but just for starters, $16000 alone is needed for catering of food. That's on the basis of $12/head, which she said is already quite reasonable priced. Of course the figure depends on the number of invites as well. So either you make the wedding a private one or request for a potluck theme. Both ways, they're not ideal.

So I was thinking about it, how the hell is this even possible? I realised it's actually quite feasible la. Assuming our jobs pay, say a minimum gross of $2000 per month. If we can save at least 40% of it, that'll already be $800 x 12= $96oo a year. And since there is no hurry to marry anyway, that'll leave a good 5 years for us to save up. And if you do your mental sums (Mus, use calculator), by the end of that period, the sum saved should be enough. There can be an excess amount even, which should be saved for future use. So basically what I'm getting at is, all hope is not lost. Mathematically at least. Satay, ah that one your seluardalam.

Till the next wedding then.

Race means race car ah?

This was produced by the late Yasmin Ahmad. I really enjoy her adverts which tend to be short and sweet, but most importantly delivers a very important message. I've come across a few of them before and will post them from time to time. Enjoy.

Amazing penalties

Seriously Ref?!



I hope this doesn't give anyone of us any ideas because Henry and Pires tried to re-create it but failed miserably. Still damn cool though.

Ngog not so 'Ngok' after all

For those who didn't get to see Ngog's goal for Liverpool this morning against Birmingham, you oughta go check it out. It was dahsyat. If you think Is's volley goal on Sunday was good, this was even better. (Obviously ah, since it's EPL standard). I'm lazy to go find the video to put here or what, so you all pandai-pandai ah. To put it in words, it was a first-time left foot volley straight to the roof of the net. If you see it first time, you might think it was Voronin (coz he's so fucking good), but no no, it's really Ngog.

Zat thinks Obertan can be damn good. (good enough to replace Ronaldo eh?) But I'm gonna be more daring. I'm saying Ngog can be as good as Voronin. Hisap bodoh, noone can be as good as Voronin. But seriously, I saw a glimpse of Ngog's potential this morning. I believe if Benitez knows how to utilise him, he can be an asset ah. Furthermore, he's only 20.

Harris Bin Potter And The Stoned Philosopher

Chapter 1:
The Boy Who Tak Mati Siol!

Harris bin Potter is not your average boy.

For one, he is an orphan. His parents, Pakcik and Makcik Potter, had died of very bad food poisoning when he was only a year old. At least, that was what his aunt, Cik Petom, told him.

"It was very bad satay from Johor," she had told Harris. "I've tried the satay from that stall before. Tak sedap lah! Tastes like pantat!"

When Harris heard this speech, he wondered two things: one, how Cik Petom even knew how pantat tasted like, and two, why she didn't drop dead when she too had eaten that infernal satay from Johor.

Indeed, Harris hated the nasi lemak out of his aunt, and not without reason.

Since the unfortunate death of his parents, Harris had been under the care of his Uncle Pandir and his Aunt Petom. In actuality, 'under the care' is a grossly inaccurate statement. Harris was more often than not under their only son, Dumbass. Literally.

And this was a particularly unpleasant situation because: one, nobody likes to be sat on, and two, because Dumbass weighed a hundred kilos.

And when Dumbass was not sitting on him, Harris was badly mistreated by his aunt and uncle. They would talk rudely to him, not let him watch television and make him do all the house chores. For a boy of eleven years, in an age of Playstation 3 and where TV no longer had Aksi Mat Yoyo, this was a foul, miserable existence.

One reason why his relatives abuse him is perhaps because Harris had special abilities. No, it wasn't that he was particularly good at sepak takraw, or could preside over a void deck soccer match, or could play the guitar particularly well.

What made Harris really special was that he was a wizard.

He wasn't exactly a full-fledged one yet, but he was learning to be one at Hog-Tak-Halal-What School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a secret school of magic situated in The PIE. Since this story is written from a Singaporean perspective, most people assume that the school is somewhere along the famed Pan-Island Expressway. The school is however, located on a real pie, called The PIE - block letters to highlight its significance as a locale. Where The PIE is, only witches and wizards would know. How a grand castle could stand erect (hee hee) on a squishy pie (hee hee), only witches and wizards would know. How nobody ever noticed a bloomin' castle in Singapore, again, only witches and wizards would know.



--------------------------------------------



Harris' first day there was literally the most magical experience in his life, hitherto. The school had sent their janitor, the half-giant Hamid, to retrieve Harris from the residence of his Uncle Pandir's.

The above-mentioned retrieval had been a fiasco. Even that notion would be debated as an understatement in some quarters. Uncle Pandir, an air-conditioning technician (a cruder term for his job would be 'air-con repairer'), had mocked Hamid's lowly and common-grade occupation as a school janitor. Hamid furiously corrected Uncle Pandir, saying that he is a 'Hygiene Officer In A Magical School' and that his duties included 'carefully arranging the magic brooms in the right closets'.

Uncle Pandir remained lost in thought for a good two minutes before saying, "I carefully arranged my magic broom in your mother's closet last night."

Hamid had roared loudly at the insult to his mother, while Aunt shrieked even louder at the thought of her husband cheating on her with a half-giant's mother.

Hamid then withdrew a singular satay stick, pointed it at Dumbass, and waved it as he exclaimed, "Mangkuk, siol!" Harris could only watch, half in awe and half in delighted amusement, as Dumbass shrunk, and transformed into a singular brown porcelain bowl.

With that, Hamid grabbed Harris, and fled.

Harris was still laughing as Hamid reached the outskirts of the HDB estate.

"Don't worry," Hamid said. "He'll be back to normal in..." Hamid paused, and was obviously counting in his head. The half-giant finally held up two fingers - "In three minutes."

"I'm not worried about that la," Harris said, smiling. He was exhilarated at finally being away from his Uncle Pandir, his Aunt Petom and his dumbass cousin Dumbass. "Where are we going from here?"

"I'm going to send you back to where you truly belong - the world of magic. And your first stop, Hog-Tak-Halal-What."

"Hamid, I know it's tak halal. Hogs, boars - pigs. All tak halal."

"No, Harris. It's a school. Hog-Tak-Halal-What School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Well, it's a stupid name for a school," Harris muttered under his breath.

Hamid continued, "I took the liberty of getting you your school essentials. It will be waiting for you in school. I studied there too, Harris. You'd love it there."

Harris held on to Hamid as he magically teleported them away from Tampines, where his relatives had stayed, with his (Hamid's) magical satay stick. Magical teleportation was an uncomfortable experience, and Harris closed his eyes as he braced himself for the trip.

When he opened his eyes again, he was on a winding dirt path that cut into a forest and led to a grand stone castle.

Harris gazed, open-mouthed in awe, at the majestic castle. It rose high above the trees, reaching for the clouds but failing. Still, it was probably higher than Bukit Timah.

"Welcome to The PIE," Hamid said grandly. "And before you, is the magnificent Hog-Tak-Halal-What School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Harris stepped toward it, but his feet sank into brown, soft, squishy soil.

"It's a mudPIE," Hamid told Harris a few seconds too late.



------------------------------------------



Before Harris went further, Hamid stopped him again. "I'm guessing your aunt and uncle didn't tell you, Harris. Your parents were murdered by a dark and powerful wizard."

"So he was the one who made the satay? Damn that bastard from Johor!"

"No! No! There was no satay from Johor involved. This wizard personally killed your parents!" Hamid looked kindly into Harris' face. Right now, it was a face that wore a pained expression.

"What was his name?" The words came out slowly from Harris, through a veil of controlled rage.

"Oldermat," Hamid replied.

"Which mat? Who's he older than?"

"No, that's his name. Oldermat. Thing is, on the night he tried to kill your parents, he also tried to kill you. But he failed. He failed, Harris! Like a Mat trying to do advanced Mathematics, he failed. And people say he's now dead, thanks to you."

Harris only stared wordlessly as he tried to digest all of this.

"You're the boy who tak mati, siol!"

TOWNS Advert

It's already November so that can only mean one thing...

Knock knock
Who's there?
November
November who?
DRAMATIC DECEMBER 09!!!

That's right guys. December is only round the corner so get your plans up and your hopes crushed all in the same month!

Dramatic December 09.. where everything looks like it will happen but actually it will not.

proudly brought to you by TOWNS

I quit.

Yes that's right. I quit this self-fulfilling circle of no satayness. Mother fuck fuck shit fuck. Suff remove my bloody face from the blog man.

Selamat Pengantin Baru

Yesterday, some of us attended Faliq's sister's wedding. Congratulations to his family and to her of course. Thanks for the food and the invitation, but it would have been better if you actually knew we existed. Nevertheless, may this be the start of the happiest chapter of your life. If only I knew your name, it would have sounded more sincere but I really meant it la.

Anyway, it got me thinking. Actually no as it has been running in my mind for a while now. We may laugh about the prospect of marriages now but it will really hit us when one of us naik pelamin. So before it dawns upon us when we're very old and very single, there are two big obstacles that needs to be realized before there can be a remote possibility of marriage;
Money and Satay.

Money. A lot of us will soon be graduating and entering the workforce so while the income that we'll be earning then sounds enticing, I'm quite sure there needs to be some serious financial planning. Jokes aside, we all need our Excel Spreadsheet. Right now mine's just a blank piece of paper and I will need to follow Jon's footsteps asap. Where do you even begin. From the duit hantaran to the catering to the wedding decor to the booking of void deck in case some matreps want to play 2v2 soccer with slippers, there is a LOT of money involved. A Savings account will be a start but our daily expenses are enough to wipe them off faster than you can say biduk lalu kiambang bertaut.

It's safe to say an average of $20k is needed just for the wedding itself, and for all that scrimping and saving you will see it(or not) vanish in one day albeit the most important day of your life. When the honeymoon's over, that's when the real deal kicks in.Buy a house? Furniture? Decor? Household expenses? Car? Siapa menang? The money involved really makes me wonder how married couples do it and it has given me a new found respect for our parents who have been doing it successfully for over 22 years now.

Now, satay. Ahhhhhhhh the age old question, how to get a satay? The most popular topic in our conversations by far.We are suffering from major bouts of masuk angin keluar asap and we're not getting any younger but ya. Time to hit the panic button? Not yet. But few years down the road, then maybe. I'm starting to think that this TOWNS thing is a self-fulfilling prophecy after all. We talk about it so much that subconsciously it is ingrained in our heads that we can never get a satay. Sedih ke pe gang.

Between the two, I cannot put a finger on which is harder to achieve. All I know is that in the long run, one can definitely not work without the other. It's something to ponder. Till the next wedding then.

Watch, enjoy and don't even think of trying.

One of my favourite goals of all time. I'll trade all my hair for that amount of talent.







TAK.

No Peaceful Easy Feeling for The Eagles

Waddup guys. So I got my S-League media pass for sports journalism and now I can bring you guys updates on S-League games. By right, I'm not supposed to, because of some journalist confidentiality shit. But it's only TOWNs what. If they do find out I put MY articles on a blog, however, they'd slaughter me. So keep it on the down-low yo.

Meanwhile, I shall live precariously siol.

Oh, and Peaceful Easy Feeling is a song by The Eagles. As in the American band that sang Hotel California.

No Peaceful Easy Feeling For The Eagles
Geylang United falter at home against the Young Lions as bigger agendas loom ahead for both teams.
by Suffian Hakim


A solitary Yang Mu goal gave the Young Lions their third win in a row as they edged past Geylang United at Bedok Stadium in an evenly-contested match.

It was both teams' penultimate game in the Yeo's Great Eastern S-League, and it was a worrying result for Geylang United ahead of their Singapore Cup final with Thai outfit Bangkok Glass in less than a fortnight.

The Young Lions tried to floor the Eagles from the word go. In the sixth minute, the away team's striker Fadhil Noh let fly a sweet right foot shot from the edge of the box. Only an athletic save by Geylang custodian Yazin Yasin prevented the ball from dipping deliciously into the net.

Geylang's chances in the first half were limited mainly to long-range attempts and set pieces. Their best chance came with a 27th-minute free kick by Miroslav Latiak that escaped the wall, forcing Young Lions goalkeeper Hyrulnizam Juma'at to parry the ball. The resulting rebound fell to Kim Jae Hong's feet, but the Korean midfielder scuffed the shot wide.

However, it was the Young Lions who appeared more dangerous, combining the pace of Gabriel Quak with Hariss Harun's unpredictable passing and target man Yang Mu's strength and height to penetrating effect.

It was this exact combination that resulted in the Young Lions' goal just a minute before the half-time whistle. A well-weighted through ball by midfield maestro Harun released Quak down the left wing. The 19-year-old winger blazed beyond the reach of the flatfooted Geylang defence, and delivered a cross into the Geylang box. A lapse in concentration by the Eagles' backline allowed Yang Mu to drift unmarked between the two Geylang centre-backs and nod in the only goal of the game.

Nonetheless, Geylang can take heart as they dominated possession for most of the game, especially in the second half. Captain Latiak was at the heart of some very slick moves by the Eagles.

In the 61st minute, the Slovak forward reacted first to a loose ball just outside the Young Lions' box. Displaying pace and immaculate control, Latiak surged into a box crowded with white jerseys. The Geylang number 9 somehow found time to force in a shot from an acute angle that Juma'at could only parry. Hafiz Rahim rushed in for the point-blank rebound, but the shot was miraculously cleared off the line by Young Lions left-back Safuwan Baharudin.

A despondent Latiak said after the game, "I think we played well. We attacked a lot but I don't know why we couldn't score."

As Geylang look to improve on their finishing ahead of the Singapore Cup final, the Young Lions are also looking ahead. "We're hoping to bring this performance into the SEA Games," said Young Lions star Hariss Harun. "Or perform even better."

The result allowed the Young Lions to climb above Woodlands in the S-League standings, to 8th place. Geylang, meanwhile, remain two spots above in 6th.

Muka Tak Match

Here's a clip featuring two voice actors from The Simpsons - Nancy Cartwright, who plays Bart and Hank Azaria, who voices Moe the Bartender (along with Apoo and that cop dude). Their voices totally don't match their faces ah, especially Nancy Cartwright. Oh, and you guys might remember Hank Azaria as David the Scientist from Friends.


The Simpsons Voice Actors - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

Don't Perasan Jubo

Hail to Torres for the fantastic finish at the Kop end. Even though he wasn't at 100% condition, he still managed to score such a goal. It's just fucking awesome. He's too damn good.

While reading liverpoolfc.tv, I came across these pictures:





The 2 of you don't perasan jubo ah matreps! Well, for Lucas's standards, he did play well, but it still doesn't mean he's good ah. As for Ngog, his name says it all la, so isap ah. They were just lucky la for the second goal. Now Rush saying Ngog can be a star all, kisurat. Anyway I've a feeling that Liverpool will be matrep again when playing Fulham this weekend, so ya.

Math Science History, Unravelling The Mysteries That All Started With A BIG BANG!

I'm very selective when it comes to TV shows. I don't do the overenthusiastic Japanese anime, or the socially-inaccurate American teenage drama. What I do watch are the most brilliant situational comedies that come from the best minds in television.

And one of them is Chuck Lorre's (Chuck Lorre of Two And A Half Men fame) masterpiece about 4 very intelligent but socially inept scientists and the hot blonde next door, The Big Bang Theory.

Of the 4, there's straight man Leonard. He's the boring type who doesn't do much beyond theoretical physics and online gaming. Kind of like Nas, but he's the one who gets the girls (well, only 2 girls over 3 seasons la but that's still more than Nas).

Then there's Sheldon, who has an IQ of 187 and got his first degree when he was 16. Now at 26, he has double PhDs and a Master's. Kind of like me la, what with my PhD in Malay at 23 and all. But he's also terminally neurotic and thinks a bit too highly of himself. That part not like me, though I am intelligent beyond measure.

Culturally-diversifying the group is Indian astrophysicist Rajesh Koothrapali, who is socially-incapacitated - he cannot talk to a beautiful woman unless under the influence of alcohol, or below-counter pharmaceuticals. He embodies all of us in TOWNs, I think.

And then there's clinically-horny Jewish engineer Howard Wolowitz. He has two Master's degrees only la, so he's the dumbass of the group. He's a lot like Barney from How I Met Your Mother, only a lot more fucking geekier. And gets waaayyyyy less women.

And Sheldon and Leonard, roommates, live across the hall from beautiful (well they think she's beautiful. I think she's tello) waitress/aspiring actress Penny.

So here's samples from the gang.

Prank gone wrong

There's no saving that ah

Reminiscing Sial! Part 3

In this episode of Reminiscing Sial, I stumbled upon this folder entitled Raya Sengkek 07. I was wondering why I had named it so until I opened it and saw the faces inside. Here are some of the highlights from our first and probably last TOWNS Hari Raya outing together.

Please enjoy the wonderful narration and camera skills by the most boring person alive.




Back then, I had long hair, Zal nye rambut mangkuk and Nazir still lived in Bukit Panjang. Looking at these videos, it's quite a shame that we don't make this a yearly thing.

Penambah Hitam

Before House, before Mr Bean, two of the most talented dudes in British comedy, Hugh Laurie and Rowan Atkinson, were in Blackadder. Funny shit yo.







Hahaha my favourite part.

Blackadder: I spy with my bored little eye... something beginning with "T."
Baldrick: Breakfast!
Blackadder: What?
Baldrick: My breakfast always begins with tea. Then, I have a little sausage. Then, a egg with some little soldiers.
Blackadder: Baldrick, when I said it begins with "T," I was talking about a letter.
Baldrick: No, it never begins with a letter! The postman doesn't come 'til 10:30.

Perangai Randall seh.

Awesome!!

As a die-hard Liverpool fan, who's been waiting for the team to finally win the league title since god-knows-when, I would like to express my most sincere gratitude to Rafael Benitez. With his creative and smart choice of strategies, it has made me believe that Liverpool can actually win the title this season. So here's to Rafa:

Fuck you, fuck you very very much.
Fucking stupid fuck.

Harris Bin Potter teaser trailer

Kisurat '09

Korean TV

We should get them for our next TL game

Lion King in 5 Seconds

Kudos to That Guy with the Glasses.

Nas's 1st & 2nd Law

Let me introduce you guys to Nas's 1st & 2nd Law. How it came about, I can't really remember coz we were talking cock as usual. Oh, before that, a shoutout to our member Faliq who turns 24 today. Though I think he's only a few years older than Suff. I think his birthday celebration is as regular as his unstoppable string of entries. Paisehzz arhzz Faliq, no celebration this time, coz everyone busy with raya I think. Anyway Happy Birthday Faliq!
So back to my laws.

Nas's 1st Law:
I'm sure you guys have heard Murphy's Law - "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." I think that's how it goes, maybe not word by word but same difference la, you get the idea.
So being the complainer that I am, I've my own - "There's always something wrong with everything." I think Mus got first hand experience of that law last night. Hahaha.

Nas's 2nd Law:
To those who watch How I Met Your Mother (OK Faliq, High 5), you'll be familiar with Ted's "Nothing good happens after 2am". I think for me it's "Nothing good happens." So ya.

There's Newton's Law of Motion, so maybe you can name mine Nas's Law of Motivation.

WOOO SEXY SIOL KITA ZAT!!!!

TOWNS Radio Ep 2

Tragedi di hari raya

As you know or don't know, I work at this very high profile club restaurant in Singapore. Millionaire club members, $200,000 entrance fee, you get the drift. Predictably, it's extremely stressful - demanding la, this, that. I work weekends before I started schooling, every Sunday after that.

And tonight, I think the manager broke down. As compared to the staff, he's there barely a year when most of the full-time waiters have been working there 8-15 years. This is the SMS he sent to me at 10:03 pm:

Manager:

I need you to work on friday nights. . Why you always not working on fridays nights. ..If you cannot work next work friday. . . Then you can stop work. . . . I m need staffs on every friday. . . Please reply now. . .Thank you

That's the exact message sent, complete with spelling errors and deranged punctuation. Maybe I have school on Friday maybe only la and I wanna rest? I thought to myself, probably sommat happened at the club, he got fucked by patrons and higher management, not enough staff, dead-end job, quarreling with wife who doesn't love him, angry with children who hate him, whatever.

So I replied:

Sorry I can't. Anyways thanks. Goodbye

Manager:

Fantastic. . I expected it too. . Cant be trusted. . Anyway. . Goodbye forever

Whoa whoa hold on there romeo... Sounds like a low-budget love story. Is this a relationship or a job? Must've been a reaaaaaaalllly bad day at work. Probably Mr Tan accidentally ate a chilli and got mad. (Mr Tan doesn't eat chilli, and all the staffs are extremely careful to press the 'no chilli' button on the PDA when ordering his food) Or probably Mrs Kuek's food came 3 mins too late. (Inferring skills has led me to believe Mrs Kuek must be fucking noisy in bed. Fucking, noisy)

Whatever it is, it must've been a really bad day. Bad life la actually. Imagine working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day attending to the minor whims of old millionaire farts.

On my bad day, I stole a Toblerone from the Guan Yu offering altar and dared him to make me foam in the mouth and my tonsils swell. Nothing happened la obviously. What, you didn't think Guan Yu got angry and smote me with his plastic halberd did you? Isap bodoh.

Anyways, even though I didn't reply I got another SMS

Manager:

What a shame on you. . . Really regret trusting you. . . SHAME ON YOU. . . .

At this point my dad was watching Suria with the singers wailing and dancing selamat hari raya, and poor chap is in his office weeping, SMSing me. Quite funny. I wanted to say abeh nangis? Chill ah, raya dok.

Henceforth, I'm not working every Sunday anymore.

Sunday morning soccer ke pe.

Kambing

You guys might have been wondering who this kambing is who keeps tagging on our tagboard.

Well here he is...



This kambing (goat), the aptly-named Kambing, is a regular blog-reader who lives in Dairy Farm. No, not the condominium - Kambing lives in a real dairy farm called Dairy Farm. The road next to the place, being near the dairy farm, is called Dairy Farm Road. Not the one next to the condominium - this road is really near a dairy farm, thus the name Dairy Farm Road. Because it is next to the dairy farm. And no, not the condominium. A real dairy farm.

Kambing is my friend. He eats leaves and shoots. And the occasional crumpled piece of paper. He and I go way back.

So guys, if you ever see him tag our tagboard, treat him like one of us, alright?

Nazir: Cook or Cock?

Enjoy the video people! I wanna say the same about the pizza, but I can't.

A Flock Of Poetry

Two Three the cats run
Four Five they fell into a hole
Six Seven they climbed out of the hole
Eight Nine they got a lecture for not looking where they run

Happy Hari Raya people!!!!!!

Sebidang pantun

Dua Tiga kucing berlari
Empat Lima kucing dah tak
Enam Tujuh kucing berlari lagi
Lapan Sembilan kucing dah tak

Selamat Hari Raya TOWNS!

"Gone sailing"

Great results Suff, I clapped - now they know there's an "AD" haha. Anyways speaking of results, I've gotten mine too, and they're not too bad ah. Every seventh week we are assessed based on our folio + attendance, given a grade, and then credit hours are calculated and we get a GPA.

We do get a checklist. So that's seven weeks worth of work that has to be up to speed, theory research documented and in addition to that, artistically outstanding. Lose a work over seven weeks, drop standard, that's one grade down. Seven weeks make one term, two terms make one semester.

Got my GPA for this term, and if I were to improve obviously I have to do better in term two to up my final GPA bla bla technical stuff.

So after slogging for seven weeks PLUS weekends, isap bodoh Mus kau bikin kerja apa seh, here I am. Here I am with numbers which mean nothing but everything, a new nickname and increased popularity.

And still, she is not with me. That's nine days I won't get to see her face and all I can do is go sailing. I wanted to SMS the other brethren, but felt gay so I didn't. Even sailing has to be done alone.

Kisurat, emo sial. But hey, Eid tomorrow; can give leeway ah.

Selamat Hari Raya to my Muslim friends. Selamat ah to me and the next 9 days.

HELLS YEAH!

(you have to click on the picture to see it properly)




Thank you, thank you. No need to clap guys, it's alright.

A new era. Sort of.

As you all know, the SJIMA has a few factions, terms, and groups that have lasted throughout our history. Here's a list:

But on this auspicious day, Nas and I welcome a new association. Born from the need that can only be felt. We present, the Brethren.

Are you on the same boat?

Zat

Baik Zat kau cool ah.

Tak boleh angss la sial..

I was reading through liverpoolfc.tv and I came across this bit written in this article regarding the win over Burnley:

Despite Benayoun walking away with the match ball, Benitez believes another player was key to the 4-0 victory.
"Lucas supported and managed in the middle and kept everyone else going forward," said the Spaniard.
"For me he was the key player today. We can talk about Yossi but it was thanks to Lucas. One thing everyone told me when I came here was that if you work hard the fans are with you. They could see again today that Lucas is a worker who has quality. He can challenge in the air, tackle and pass the ball. He worked so hard in different positions and allowed the other players more freedom. For me he was a very important player for us today."

Pardon me coz I didn't really see much of the game, but seriously?? You gotta be kidding me ah Rafa. Are you crazy or crazy? Maybe coz the attackers were doing so well that Lucas didn't have to do anything, that's why he looked good. And also, it was against Burnley ah, it's definitely not a good gauge.

The new adventures of me.

HI. It's been a while ah. What can I say, school started and everything was a rush of art and more art. It's like having third eye blind in the brain.

Anyways. It's been 7 weeks, and next week is review week - that's when you finalize all your projects for grading. So if you've done consistent work (like me) you won't need to rush your arse (So Nas next week I'll pass you my progress report as promised). So here I am finally having time to write this entry.

School's great so far, love the environment, love most things about it bla bla. And the best thing about it has got to be the hellos. Hellos, t'hellos, step hellos, busty, short, tall, you name it, we've got it. Contrary to what people think, most of the people in school dress normally.

But of course the helloest of them all has got to be C. Combine all the previous "shirt sizes" S, M, L... You can't beat C. C is so hello I have to hold on to my balls to see her lest it might disappear. I first saw her during my portfolio interview 3 or 4 months ago I can't remember, and now, I still haven't done shit. Our respective groups stand two/three meters away from each other during smoke break every day, say three times a day and all I can do is just steal glances and admire that auburn blonde hair and the way she drags on her fag. That's got to be THEE highlight of school man.

Now I know how Nas feels ah. Nas, I'm never gonna make fun of you again I promise. Christ, I'm even beginning to sound like you ah. We should start a new convention la Nas, since your other 17 Convention is perpetually awol.

Speaking of which! I made pizza with Nazir today. For their second month anniversary! Can you believe that? So sweet right? So fucking sweet it'll give me tooth decay. But that's not the point. I haven't made pizza dough in a while, so when I tasted mine, it wasn't as "risen" as I wanted it to be. Quite fail by my standards but it was decent ah.

Then I tasted Nazir's pizza. I tasted cheese, I tasted tomato, I tasted this thing that resembled rubber/dough underneath. Fail la Nazir. But okayla edible. So that's that. Then there's the best part, la creme de la creme (literally ah).

His custard. Or pudding. Or whatever.

Kisurat fail la sial. Fail with a capital D, E, F. Fucking hell it was so fail it needed the previous two letters to support its failure. So basically we were out of time right, and Suff didn't have the proper utensils and crockery to cook it. So Nazir sembarang mixed the cornstarch with the milk, gobules of cornstarch floating on the surface of the milk. Then we melted butter, sugar and milk on a frying pan can you believe it? Then going to spill so we transferred the whole damn thing into a metal cake tray since there wasn't a pan to simmer it. It didn't simmer I don't know why, and we decided to shortcut the recipe, and whacked everything into the cake tray.

Fucking Hogwarts shit man, imagine Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle staring into a couldron of crap they just made. I knew it was gone the moment I saw the gobules floating on the milk hahaha. So we tried to cool it, but it didn't harden and in the end Nazir ended up with a Tupperware of sugary creamy milk drink. Sort of.

Then the most kesian part. He got these two pretty maroon flowers for Renu. And Suff kept it in the freezer. The bloody freezer. So when we took it out it was FROZEN, and on the way to Renu's it THAWED and lost its rigidity so everything was soft and limp from top to tip! Hahahahahaha. The poor things were wobbling and melting in my hands man, dripping internal fluids I never knew flowers had. Sad man sad. Renu if you're reading this, I hope you love him more ah. So endearing. And I apologize for letting you eat his fiasco. I also don't know what happened ah, there were five people in the kitchen, Nazir, Aidil, Suff, his maid & I - everything was kecoh, and like ya I was too sick to bother.

Never mind Nazir, it was a good try ah. Idea babe, idea hahahah. After Eid we try again aite?

Almost there

Mus said he's gonna write an entry but apparently he wrote like 3 in a row, kisurat. At least give your own entries some air time la Mus.

For those who didn't know, I've been having my IA at ST Aerospace SASCO for the last 10 weeks, doing mechanical installation - engineering design liaison support, for a BOEING 767 passenger-to-freighter conversion project. For those people who didn't understand a word I just mentioned, then you probably won't be interested in the stuff I do. For those who do understand, be careful, you are on the brink of becoming a boring person. Now I'm like halfway through my attachment period, so...
...
I've got nothing to say
I've got nothing to say
I've got nothing to say
I've got nothing to say
I've got nothing to give
No more reasons to live
Oh I'd fight to survive
I've got nothing to hide
Wish I wasn't so shy
...
Those are lyrics from The Strokes - Ask Me Anything. Suff and Zat have their own rendition of that song, but let's just leave that for another time. But really, I've got nothing to say about my attachment (in whatever sense of the word) to this obviously-nothing-but-I-dunno-why-I'm-still-crazy **** thing & whatever other **** nonsense.

Ok, back at Anfield, where Farid was at (Bloody hell, I didn't know he was going there. Kurang asam!), the scoreline was 4-0! Woohoo!! I know it's just Burnley, but it's a good start. Finally Gerrard is back at center mid, but Lucas was still there. No choice also, because Mascherano's injured from international duty. I think Liverpool had like 170 chances, Burnley was lucky their keeper saved them a lot of times. However, some of the goals were kind of his fault. Haha. Anyway baik ah Benayoun, another hat-trick. He's good! Zat & Nazir will say they told me so. And that my playing style similar to his, which is true, (perasan jubo a while ah) haha. But the best was still Voronin who missed a seater, respect. I hope Liverpool can continue with this kind of play, besides the Voronin missing bit or him playing at all.

Anyway guys, Hari Raya is around the corner. Since Zal is like finally free after 13th September, let's go Geylang ah. I wanna get kain samping, again. Hahaha. So how about Friday night, anyone? I know you got tennis Zat, but chill, we're gonna go damn late. Faliq, bawa van ke pe? Or Zat/Zal/Sam/Wan try to get car. Then we can have 2 vehicles, if I can get car also ah. Jangan kecoh bout parking, chill. Wow, this is a long entry.

That Liverpool Dream

12:17:38 AM suff: in my winning eleven 'become a legend' mode, i was playing for sunderland
12:17:41 AM suff: then pool wanted me
12:17:45 AM suff: and i accepted
12:17:52 AM suff: and i realised, being in pool is quite fun
12:18:17 AM suff: gerrard passes to me down the left wing
12:18:26 AM suff: aku give a low cross for torres to finish
12:18:33 AM suff: while el zhar is on the bench because of me
12:18:35 AM suff: gerek dok
12:19:34 AM zat.: ah thats why
12:19:36 AM zat.: it is just a game
12:19:44 AM zat.: in reality
12:19:51 AM zat.: kau give a low cross to mus
12:19:53 AM zat.: kena telinga dia
12:19:55 AM zat.: masuk goal

Baik Zat, bringing me back down to Earth.

Aku menang. Once.

I've been rejecting late night supper or dinner invitations from a lot of people recently. Nas, Nazir and Nas to name a few. The reason being tennis. You know how all of us has a passion for a particular sport. Nas - Hockey, Nazir - Fencing, Mus - Cycling (apparently), Faliq - Frisbee and Suff- Spankwire. Mine has to be tennis. It's the only sport which is up there with soccer in terms of adrenaline, excitement and its challenges. For me at least. Between the two, I cannot and will not want to choose one over the other.

I've been training hard for Sunig this year in hope that I can do well in the competition this year. The Singapore tennis arena, being so small, means that the usual suspects are expected to dominate the scene every year. There is a certain Kamil Ghazali who still gives me nightmares of his 6-0 thrashing in mini-tennis 11 years ago, sheesh kurang ajar betul.

So Sunig (Individual) took place at NUS last week and as expected, there were a lot of familiar faces around. I played Singles and my first round opponent was Nicholas Poon (SMU). Match started at 9pm cos this matrep had some school stuff to settle. That was after everyone has left except for the SMU and SIM contingent. The spotlight was very much on us since it was the last match of the day. He was a big guy whose weapons lie in his serve and his forehand so the gameplan was to get him moving and attack the backhand side. I got off to a good start and held a considerable lead until the later stages of the game where I was trying to serve off the match. Probably a bit of complacency on my side which saw him tying the score at 8-8, so it went to a tie break. At this point I was just frustrated at myself for not seeing off the match much earlier. The tie-break was nerve wrecking la and it was close at 5-5 until I secured the final 2 points to clinch the victory. The ending was a bit anti climatic ah because I didn't celebrate much despite the climax that built up to it.

So the 1st round win felt like a monkey off my back. I was going into the 2nd round(Quarters) feeling confident but my performance on court showed otherwise. Opponent this time was Desmond Tan (NUS). For some reason I was nervy and felt very tight on court. I couldn't get any rhythm whatsoever and before I knew it, he was running away with the lead. I was down 2-5, 3- 6 then 4-7. Somehow I managed to catch up to 6-7, 7-8 and then 8-8. Another tie-break but for all that comeback, I got whacked at the final hurdle and lost.

My teammate ,second from left, won Kamil 9-8. So ya that makes him a tennis noob

It was very disappointing and I couldn't live with the fact that my performance fell short. This I feel is the difference between good players and great players. The ability to produce the goods on court when it matters. And based on this alone, I have somewhere to go.

Ok la I know no one asked for a tennis update but this blog is dead so might as well ah.

Pempek

I just realised today its the 3rd week of school and I really haven't done anything much. Its not that I want to to do work or that I am looking for work but this semester I decided to like pick all the early presentation slots so that I'll be free later on in the sem. But guess what la, I still have 3-4 major presentations in week 11 and 12. The thing about the mods I've doing this sem, they are very project based. SO a few nonsense waste time kinda presentations. I just had one this week, found out that I am going to have one next week and another in week 5. Seriously la, if the profs don't want to teach just tell us la, don't have to pretend its for our own benefit all. Isap seh.

Ah but I'm not really complaining. Its just that sometimes I don't see the point in having some of these presentations but I can't do much about it I guess. This sem is gonna be quite a difficult one for me. Have to juggle a lot of stuff but I'm more than happy to do so. Since Nas is a working all and Mus finally is in school, I had to find a new study partner. Luckily I found one liaos so life is good.

Anyway, I think we should have a mass buka session one day + a Geylang outing. People like Faliq, Zal, Sam and Wan, korang jangan nak step busy eh. Isap bodohs. If you all are agreeable, we'll do it in like 2 weeks time. We'll also invite boring people like Jon or what la, if he wants too. He is also another isap bodoh step busy je.

Oh oh oh and for those who haven't watched Final Destionation 4, please ah eh, keep it that way. I'll post about it, if i have the energy to recall ah what the stupid show is about. Seriously la, like seriously, if you don't want to have a good plot, good CGI and good whatever, then whats the point seh. Luckily the girl was hello. But still not worth 10 bucks ah. I rather spend that on Pempek seh.

Classy Goal

This is the type of quality player Liverpool is currently in need of. Zat showed you the top 50 goals but none of those goals can even come close to what you are about to witness. In the words of Sheer, "Class la".

Once Again...

Wtf is wrong with Benitez??? Why can't he just play Gerrard in the middle of the park and fucking drop Lucas?? Then he can fucking play Nemeth as the 2nd striker la. Fucking idiot. And there's Benayoun also, who is not playing, I dunno why. In the words of Lily Allen, "Fuck you. Fuck you very very much."

Very boring goals

I can watch this again and again. I cant remember for sure if there were any better goals scored than these ones but I think it's about right.

Things to take note :

- Nani and Forlan dont score many but when they do, kiiiiiii
- Goal#44 : Look at the amount of space Beckham had in front of him, but he chose to be lazy and lob it over the goalkeeper. Ya why not.
- Goal #43 : Phil Neville actually scored
- Goal #26 : Goal macam Winning Eleven. Anderson L1 X one two with Giggs, L1 X again one two with Tevez, X square pass to Tevez, Square simple tap in goal
- Goal #24 : Just watch how much ground Ronaldo covered. Bolt would have been proud ah
- Goal #16 : "He just cant stop scoring!". Ah ok.
- Goal #14 : Thats just his left leg la thanks
- Goal #7 : Beckham can actually dribble la sial
- Goal #5 : I cant even see the ball but ya
- Goal #12 and #11 : Scholes and Rooney's goals are uncannily similar. Both chips and both from around the same spot
- Goal #4 and #3 : These two must be trying to outdo each other. My two favouritest goals. First time howitzer bazooka screamer thunderbolt volley from outside the box and off the underside of the post.

Strawberry Swing

Definitely the chillest song from the album and one of the coolest videos I've seen. If this is not being creative, then I dont know what is. Class la Coldplay.

The Last Step Teaser Trailer

This is draft 1 of the teaser trailer for my upcoming anthology, The Last Step.

Long due

It's been a long time since I wrote an entry here. As you all know, I've been busy with work and all, going up the same aircraft almost everyday, but not to fly, just to look at problems. Over the last 5 weeks of work and all, I just realised I haven't flown in a plane since 1996. OMG! That's 13 years ago ah, kisurat. So I'm thinking for our December trip, if it happens (which means I need to start saving more), we just fly ah, even though if it's just KL. It's cheap to fly to KL anyway right.

Ok, now for the important stuff. This is like long due - Xabi Alonso, my favourite player, left Liverpool for Real Madrid already, but ya, so siape menang. Not Liverpool ah like this, and hopefully not Real. Now without Alonso, Liverpool will have to depend on Lucas Leiva. WTF man, WTF. I think all Liverpool fans that I know will agree with me that Lucas is really hopeless but ya. It's kind of Rafa's fault that Alonso left. He was trying to sell him to buy Gareth Barry, who I think is nowhere near Alonso's standard. I don't understand the hype on Barry, Barrrrrry good, FUCK OFF la. Ya, I said FUCK OFF, so pls do - to whoever that says Barry is better than Alonso, really really. And and, with the 30m from Alonso's sale, Rafa decided to use 20m to buy Aquilani. Not that I wanna doubt his choice la, but wanting to buy Barry, and buying this injury-prone guy, why Rafa why. Aquilani apparently only started 7 matches last season and made 7 appearances from the bench. That's almost like Kewell, and worst than Owen and Aimar.

Farewell Alonso. I hope you do well, only for Spain not for Real. Remember this - "You'll Never Walk Alone"! But really upset la that he left. I feel damn sad but ya. (Abeh nangis!) hahaha.

Wedding sial

We can do this for Is's wedding ah. Nas will lead the way with, zapin-ing down, Mus and Suff can dance like the guys at 1.45, Dumb and Dumber style. Zat cool kan, like the guy at 1.06, so he'll show us some of his dance moves. I'll be at the back washing plates, since aku buat bising. But if Is gives me a chance, I want to be the guy who comes in at 1.30. He can't dance but he just oozes a sense of slackness when he made his way down. Style ah.

My fav part of the whole vid has got to be when the groom comes down for the bride. Although it was just a simple act, I could sense the love between the two. Ah step. Whatever it is, I just love the whole feel of it. So Faliq, if you want, you can do this for your sister's wedding. Mau ke pe!

Kubur

One of the funniest scenes ever. And there is no bodoh in it ok Zat.

Dumb and Dumber

Hope you guys had the time of your lives yesterday. Like Zat said, SJIM/A dah maju. Once again, Happy Birthday Guys!

Untuk Suff

Makan satay dengan sehelai lidi
Hari ini kau nye hari jadi
Kau tau tak kau dah 23
Tapi perangai masih macam babi

Pegi Al Azhar order orange juice
Nak bayar tapi wallet can use can use
Duit no issue kita boleh sataykan
Asalkan kau jangan terbegek ikan

Janji pukul lapan jumpa pukul sepuluh
Datang pakai shades muka perasan jubo
Ini gurauan antara kawan sahaja
Aku wish kau Happy Birthday la member

Irreverant Birthday Wish!!!!

Happy birthday to Mus
Ben Chiew can use
Happy birthday to Muuus
I like orange juice!

Man U Menang

Over the past weekend, Man U played Malaysia at Bukit Jalil Stadium as part of their Man U Asia Tour. IPC Travel & Tours was offering this 2D1N package and the chance of watching Man U live again was just too good to be missed, so we made the short trip up to KL. We referring to me, Nazir, Fahmy and his two brothers.

Meeting time was 615am at Newton Hawker Food Centre Carpark. So who do you call when you need transport at such ungodly hour? Kau members la Nas seriously. Dinner treat still on me.

So this was our bus. They named all the buses after Man U players to get us into the mood all. Our bus ROONEY was full of energy througout with occasional moments of magic on the road. PARK never once stopped on the North-South Highway while BERBATOV took his own time but still managed to bamboozle through traffic.

We went straight to the stadium and I knew I was at the right place when I saw this car.
Bukit Jalil Stadium actually looked like National Stadium from the outside.
This was the crowd that was already waiting to enter the gates when we arrived. It was only 2pm. Match kickoff was at 530pm. Talk about die-hard.

If you're ever in need for attention, then learn from this guy. Simply wear a rival club jersey and you'll get all kinds of jeers and insults hurled at you. This was just the first of many.

You cannot see it but we were slowly getting baked inside. We had to wait for 3 hours under the scorching sun.
Nobody knew who they were but the crowd just cheered for them. It turned out to be Man U coaches. We were restless so we just wanted some entertainment




These are the people that all tak pernah mati. Who wears a Man City or Pool shirt to a Man U exhibition? Seriously nak kena tumbuk.

If my arm was long enough, I would tumbuk this guy also. O Shea fan? Seriously?

The pitch had these water sprinklers that were hidden underneath the pitch. Very fancy ah if you ask me.
At long last, the sight of a Man U player. First on the pitch was Ben Foster, warming up with the goalkeeping coach. Van der Sar came soon afterwards and the crowd went wild.
The moment we were waiting for. Ferdinand finally led the team out of the tunnel to a thunderous applause. Seeing all the players live was damn surreal. I kept saying to myself, "That is Scholes right in front of me. SCHOLES. SCHOLES."

It was a full house and the atmosphere was awesome. I think there were almost 100000 specatators in the stadium. By far the largest crowd I've been in.

Watching them play live certainly has upped my appreciation for all the players. As good as they all are, some of them really stood out. Berbatov has to be the coolest player alive. He plays in his own world, looks as lazy as he looks on TV but his touches are just sublime. Giggs is still a class act. He was so comfortable on the ball and at his age, his pace and acceleration must be understated. Rooney was THE crowd favourite. I was directly behind the play for Man U's second goal and I didnt even see the run made by Nani. So talk about vision.

And Gary Neville, oh poor Gary. He certainly surpassed all my expectations of a blooming idiot. I am not exaggerating. His runs and movements are so so clumsy. He was the only substitute not to be used during a match so to compensate for it, he was doing sprints across the length of the pitch even after the team had left. Poor Giggs members nye pasal together with a coach had to accompany him. Even when we left, he was still running and didnt look like he was going to stop anytime soon. Suspect kuat he's going to retire and go run marathons. Im so proud of this Man U captain.