WOOO SEXY SIOL KITA ZAT!!!!

TOWNS Radio Ep 2

Tragedi di hari raya

As you know or don't know, I work at this very high profile club restaurant in Singapore. Millionaire club members, $200,000 entrance fee, you get the drift. Predictably, it's extremely stressful - demanding la, this, that. I work weekends before I started schooling, every Sunday after that.

And tonight, I think the manager broke down. As compared to the staff, he's there barely a year when most of the full-time waiters have been working there 8-15 years. This is the SMS he sent to me at 10:03 pm:

Manager:

I need you to work on friday nights. . Why you always not working on fridays nights. ..If you cannot work next work friday. . . Then you can stop work. . . . I m need staffs on every friday. . . Please reply now. . .Thank you

That's the exact message sent, complete with spelling errors and deranged punctuation. Maybe I have school on Friday maybe only la and I wanna rest? I thought to myself, probably sommat happened at the club, he got fucked by patrons and higher management, not enough staff, dead-end job, quarreling with wife who doesn't love him, angry with children who hate him, whatever.

So I replied:

Sorry I can't. Anyways thanks. Goodbye

Manager:

Fantastic. . I expected it too. . Cant be trusted. . Anyway. . Goodbye forever

Whoa whoa hold on there romeo... Sounds like a low-budget love story. Is this a relationship or a job? Must've been a reaaaaaaalllly bad day at work. Probably Mr Tan accidentally ate a chilli and got mad. (Mr Tan doesn't eat chilli, and all the staffs are extremely careful to press the 'no chilli' button on the PDA when ordering his food) Or probably Mrs Kuek's food came 3 mins too late. (Inferring skills has led me to believe Mrs Kuek must be fucking noisy in bed. Fucking, noisy)

Whatever it is, it must've been a really bad day. Bad life la actually. Imagine working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day attending to the minor whims of old millionaire farts.

On my bad day, I stole a Toblerone from the Guan Yu offering altar and dared him to make me foam in the mouth and my tonsils swell. Nothing happened la obviously. What, you didn't think Guan Yu got angry and smote me with his plastic halberd did you? Isap bodoh.

Anyways, even though I didn't reply I got another SMS

Manager:

What a shame on you. . . Really regret trusting you. . . SHAME ON YOU. . . .

At this point my dad was watching Suria with the singers wailing and dancing selamat hari raya, and poor chap is in his office weeping, SMSing me. Quite funny. I wanted to say abeh nangis? Chill ah, raya dok.

Henceforth, I'm not working every Sunday anymore.

Sunday morning soccer ke pe.

Kambing

You guys might have been wondering who this kambing is who keeps tagging on our tagboard.

Well here he is...



This kambing (goat), the aptly-named Kambing, is a regular blog-reader who lives in Dairy Farm. No, not the condominium - Kambing lives in a real dairy farm called Dairy Farm. The road next to the place, being near the dairy farm, is called Dairy Farm Road. Not the one next to the condominium - this road is really near a dairy farm, thus the name Dairy Farm Road. Because it is next to the dairy farm. And no, not the condominium. A real dairy farm.

Kambing is my friend. He eats leaves and shoots. And the occasional crumpled piece of paper. He and I go way back.

So guys, if you ever see him tag our tagboard, treat him like one of us, alright?

Nazir: Cook or Cock?

Enjoy the video people! I wanna say the same about the pizza, but I can't.

A Flock Of Poetry

Two Three the cats run
Four Five they fell into a hole
Six Seven they climbed out of the hole
Eight Nine they got a lecture for not looking where they run

Happy Hari Raya people!!!!!!

Sebidang pantun

Dua Tiga kucing berlari
Empat Lima kucing dah tak
Enam Tujuh kucing berlari lagi
Lapan Sembilan kucing dah tak

Selamat Hari Raya TOWNS!